william p. bohlen
Wednesday, October 29, 2003
RedEye, 10/24/03
'Sisco' needs a chance to find its legs
By William P. Bohlen
"Karen Sisco," ABC's new chick-kicks-butt drama, might be short-lived given the disappointing ratings (despite a good-for-ABC lead-in from "The Bachelor"), but is worth a shot at success.
Based on the Elmore Leonard novel--and then the Jennifer Lopez-George Clooney movie "Out of Sight"--ABC's version takes the Miami underbelly and adds a pinch of hip, a hint of humor and a dash of funked-up music, yet still comes up a little short. "Karen Sisco" is almost exactly what you'd expect a Leonard-Disney hybrid to be.
Sisco (Carla Gugino) is the wunderkind of the Miami FBI office who spends much of her time tracking down fugitives in her Buick Century. (C'mon, in the town of "Miami Vice," she gets an Avis rental car?!) She's a bit of a loner, though will undoubtedly succumb to Hollywood Rule #238: Attractive, kick-butt woman must struggle to balance kicking butt with developing relationship.
Gugino is in her element, though doesn't play up the sexy as often as, say, J.Lo, who played the movie role. The supporting cast, including Robert Forster as her father, is able though hardly inspired. Episodes feel self-contained, encouraging casual viewing, and is a formula with which shows such as "Law and Order" have found longevity.
Similarly, "Karen Sisco" feels like it needs a marathon, and not a sprint, to find its legs. ABC should give it enough room to run.
- Do you think Demi Moore is embarrassed by Ashton Kutcher's "Punk'd"? The second season premieres, followed by several other MTV debuts, at 8 p.m. Sunday.
- At 7 p.m. Tuesday on ABC, "It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown."
- The third season of "24" debuts at 8 p.m. Tuesday on Fox, same time as the two-hour finale of "The Joe Schmo Show" on Spike.
- "Rich Girls" replaces "Newlyweds" at 9:30 p.m. Tuesday on MTV.
- Wednesday is a big night for Fox, beginning at 7 p.m. with the premiere of "That '70s Show," followed by "A Minute With Stan Hooper" at 7:30 p.m. and the fall season premiere of "The O.C." at 8 p.m.
Thursday, October 23, 2003
RedEye, 10/20/03
Bells, whistles best part of 'Skin'
By William P. Bohlen
Is it terrible that after watching a Romeo-and-Juliet story featuring two well-meaning forbidden teen lovers, one from a public-serving family and the other from a smut-peddling family, I root for the pornographer dad?
"Skin," Fox's new drama premiering at 8 p.m. Monday, is intriguing without being terrifically interesting. Executive producer Jerry Bruckheimer, the action-movie and "CSI" maestro, has assembled a particularly uninspiring cast, with the exception of longtime character actor Ron Silver, who plays Larry Goldman, king of a porn empire.
Goldman's daughter Jewel (newcomer Olivia Wilde), improbably with a good head on her shoulders, falls for Adam Roame (fresh-faced D.J. Cotrona), the son of district attorney Michael Roame, (played by Kevin Anderson). Michael happens to be staking his reelection campaign on cracking a kiddie porn ring he suspects Goldman to be behind.
How "Skin" can keep the Romeo-and-Juliet theme up over an entire season, I have no idea; the tale is already a bland mush by the end of the first episode. (Warning: there's a balcony scene.) We hardly understand what makes them fall in love other than that Jewel has been dating bad guys, and dating Jewel makes good-guy Adam feel naughty. Cotrona and Wilde are guilty primarily of being boring.
More worthwhile is the feud between the two fathers, even though Anderson's D.A. is a walking, talking cliche. Also, ignore the countless entreaties from the parents to their kids to "stop seeing that boy" or girl, whichever the case may be.
The show is classic Bruckheimer, though. The aesthetics are great--it's all dark lighting and striking colors, quick cuts and thumping bass. If "Skin" were condensed into 30 seconds, it'd be a great Mitsubishi commercial.
What makes "Skin" mildly watchable is the occasional scantily clad women, that throbbing music and great camera work, and a complex relationship between good and evil, where good is sometimes evil and vice versa. This black-and-white story told in neon hues is best in the grayscale middle.
RedEye, 10/20/03
Reality Rewind
The show: Real World/Road Rules Challenge
9 p.m. Monday, MTV
Last episode recap: Poor Trishelle! She took quite a spill on a mountain bike, injured her widdle head and had to go to the hospital. She has to sit out of a mud-bath-type competition, which Road Rules wins. Steve and Tonya face each other in a gauntlet, and Tonya goes home.
Fast-forward: Instead of "RW/RR," why don't you spend your Monday doing something productive, like studying international relations! The second season of "Joe Millionaire," with duped foreign hotties, debuts at 7 p.m. Monday on Fox.
Get real: Now, I am really looking forward to this season of "Millionaire." Partly it's because of the paltry offerings of reality television this season, and partly because the Eurobabes are going to be just as catty as American ones, only with cooler accents.
The show: Joe Schmo
8 p.m. Tuesday, Spike TV
Last episode recap: The "Lap of Luxury" contest winnows contestants from four to three as Ashleigh is eliminated. The eliminated guests come back as jury members and, with two votes each for Matt and Hutch, they cliffhang on Dr. Pat's deciding vote.
Fast-forward: "Joe Schmo" returns Oct. 28 for the two-hour finale. What will Matt's reaction be? A killing rampage? Will he actually receive the $100,000 just for being a good sport? Is HE the actor pulling one over on everyone?
Get real: I think the "Joe Schmo" finale should be, but ratingswise probably won't be, one of the best two hours on TV this fall. They've done such a good job setting up the situation that his reaction is going to be worth watching.
The show: Newlyweds: Nick and Jessica
9:30 p.m. Tuesday, MTV
Last episode recap: Jessica's birthday, her 23rd. "That's almost mid-20s!" Yet she has "Sesame Street"-themed cookies. Also, Nick works on a bee's nest on their property.
Fast-forward: Finale. (Already?!) Jessica the cook. (Maybe she uses tuna!) "It's stressful, cooking," she says.
Get real: What will we ever do without Jessica Simpson? How will we ever laugh again? I know! We'll buy her cruddy album!
The show: The Bachelor
8 p.m. Wednesday, ABC
Last episode recap: Lee-Ann and Bob have a romantic, "Titanic"-esque date, which Lee-Ann calls "orgasmic." (Um, no, Lee-Ann. That's something else.) Bob has a group date, then a 10-down-to-six rose ceremony, in which he spares a whiny Lee-Ann and Wheaton's Kelly Jo, along with four others.
Fast-forward: Jamie's back! He moves into the ladies' house with a few of Bob's other friends so that they can help Bob choose the right woman for him. They set him up on three one-on-ones and one three-person group date.
Get real: Here's hoping Jamie shines in his second go-'round. His most memorable moments from "The Bachelorette" were his mouthful at dog chow and his pathetic attempt to kiss Trista.
The show: Sorority Life/Fraternity Life
9 p.m. Wednesday, MTV
Last episode recap: On "SL," Meena gets into Harvard Medical School. Say what? How the hell did that happen? The world is crumbling. So is Meena's sorority world as the sisters vote to de-pledge her. On "FL," Nate and Jesse steal pledges' underwear. Um, disgusting. Robbie wants to fight Santa Cruz townies.
Fast-forward: On "SL," Janelle is thinking of de-pledging. On "FL," Slater has a birthday party and makes out with a bunch of girls, including Lauren, whom he takes to his room. Later, Sherry, an old friend tries to join the couple in bed.
Get real: Is all of this season's drama going to come from the decisions to de-pledge or not? This is going to get real boring real fast if that's all there is.
The show: Survivor: Pearl Islands
7 p.m. Thursday, CBS
Last episode recap: Morgan finds borrowing Rupert quite rewarding as he helps them win a reward challenge of soap and cleaning supplies. Drake loses its third challenge in a row and kicks off iron stomach Michelle, who botched the gross-food-eating contest by not faking a gag reflex.
Fast-forward: Jon and Sandra get into a fight. Would there be anything more satisfying than Sandra smacking the smirk off Jon's face?
Get real: Rupert remains my all-time favorite "Survivor." His care for the ailing snake "Balboa" was heartwarming and creepy at the same time.
Monday, October 20, 2003
RedEye, 10/17/03
'West Wing' remodel is botched job
By William P. Bohlen
If it hadn't been apparent in the first episode this season, we knew by the end of the second that "The West Wing" isn't the same without creator Aaron Sorkin.
That's when, in the middle of the show's best storyline in a few seasons--the kidnapping of President Bartlet's daughter and his subsequent abdication of power--the action abruptly wrapped up, deus ex machina-style with the sudden discovery of Zoey Bartlet, murkily explained as resulting from a cell phone call. The sudden deflation of tension was like a piercing balloon pop and almost as comforting.
John Wells, of "ER" fame, has taken over the show this season after Sorkin was dismissed by NBC execs. Sorkin may have been a troublemaker, but he was the mad genius behind the fictional Oval Office. Handing the keys to Wells is a surefire way to ruin any magic. Just look where "ER" is now--a prime-time soap opera with a revolving cast of characters.
This season already, "Wing" has resurrected the flames between Josh and Amy when a Josh-Donna romance is clearly the next step; the dialogue has been tortoise-like without Sorkin's snappy wit; and the lofty presidential speeches--a Sorkin specialty--have been cliche-filled and flat in the hands of Wells' team.
Although the ostensible reason for Wednesday's abrupt schedule change--in which a new "Wing" was pulled in favor of a "Law and Order" rerun--is that Fox's ratings for the Cubs-Marlins series was so strong, it wouldn't be surprising if NBC had sent the episode back for some tweaking.
Hint, hint.
Shows to watch
- If you can stomach it, the World Series airs all week on Fox, beginning at 7 p.m. Saturday.
- Fox rejoins the fall TV season with the premiere of "Joe Millionaire," featuring a rodeo cowboy and clueless European babes, at 7 p.m. Monday. It's followed by the premiere of "Skin."
- New episodes of "South Park" start at 9 p.m. Wednesday on Comedy Central, followed by the debut of "Kid Notorious," a fictional cartoon about real-life Hollywood producer Robert Evans.
RedEye, 10/13/03
Reality Rewind
The show: Real World/Road Rules Challenge
9 p.m. Monday, MTV
Last episode recap: It's naked bubble bath time! You think they realize they're on TV? Anyway, there's a puzzle competition that RR wins. Montana faces Katie on the mechanical bull, and Katie wins.
Fast-forward: Trishelle gets a lot of screen time and seemingly gets injured, all the while wearing horrendous makeup. Good times, good times.
Get real: If you're super bored, you can go to MTV.com and sign up for the RW/RR Challenge fantasy league.
The show: Joe Schmo
8 p.m. Tuesday, Spike TV
Last episode recap: Hutch returns. There's a fake gross food challenge--including "dog poop"--that causes Matt to negotiate with a producer type. Oh, and we had to say goodbye to buxom "virgin" Molly!
Fast-forward: It appears that next week is the final episode of "the game." That could mean the finale (on Oct. 28) is the one where Matt is let in on the little secret and goes on a killing rampage. That's just a guess.
Get real: If you were a reality TV casting director that received an application packet with just a picture to judge, wouldn't you pick out Matt as a Joe Schmo?
The show: Newlyweds
9:30 p.m. Tuesday, MTV
Last episode recap: Nick and Jessica shoot their new videos, and Nick isn't satisfied with his compared to hers. Creepy thought: the song for Jessica's video, "Sweetest Sin," is about losing her virginity to Nick.
Fast-forward: Jessica turns 23. She wears horrendous false eyelashes. She has Elmo and Cookie Monster cookies. In other words, she's not a girl, not yet a woman.
Get real: Superhero Nick to the rescue next week. This time it's a swarm of bees he needs to take care of, and he, of course, pooh-poohs Jessica's request to have a professional do it.
The show: The Bachelor
8 p.m. Wednesday, ABC
Last episode recap: The girls weep when voting for the most and least compatible matches for Bob. The world is so unfair, they cry! Well, it was, until level-headed--and not coincidentally voted most compatible--Meredith received news that her grandmother died. Shame on the catty princesses! Meredith still has a fab date with Bob. They mix things up by having no rose ceremony.
Fast-forward: Continuation of the episode as Bob dates least-compatible LeAnn, who says the right snarky things ("This is like a sorority gone bad!") but is still unlikable in a Kirsten way (I didn't come here to be friends with these girls).
Get real: How much more real can you get? Meredith's grandmother dies. Her mom encourages her to stay on the show. The cameras turned off for a little bit to give Meredith some privacy.
The show: Sorority Life/Fraternity Life
9 p.m. Wednesday, MTV
Last episode recap: On "SL," they pick their big sisters and little sisters. Michelle disses Val by not showing up to go out for coffee. The sisters vote to depledge Meena! On "FL," six of the pledges are chosen to live in the pledge house. Robbie overhears Jon talking smack, but they later hug. Bryant drops out.
Fast-forward: On "SL," fallout from the Meena decision, while fellow pledges stick up for her. On "FL," Robbie thinks about depledging.
Get real: You know, if you are a person who wants to go into a fraternity or sorority, then you'd better play by whatever rules there are.
No. 1 rule: Be on time!
The show: Survivor
7 p.m. Thursday, CBS
Last episode recap: Drake wins another challenge, a reward, and gets a sewing kit and the last piece of their treasure map, which reveals an okay treasure with some moldy items. Spearheaded by vocal Burton, Drake basically throws the immunity challenge, but it ends up biting him as he gets voted off.
Fast-forward: Rupert is visiting with Morgan and bonding with the other team. Will it haunt him? Also, a gross-out food challenge.
Get real: Did anyone catch how crazy-weird Jon is? He admitted to Jeff that he was "loaded" for tribal council. But how do you let that much power get into a crazy man's hands?
Tuesday, October 14, 2003
RedEye, 10/10/03
'Miss Match' is a cuter, safer 'Sex' TV
By William P. Bohlen
Congratulations, young single women! You must have dates! How else can NBC explain away the low ratings for its new Friday night looking-for-love dramedy, "Miss Match"?
Evidently, the only people watching TV on Friday nights are ABC's "TGIF" audience and CBS' church crowd, who follow the surprisingly popular God drama "Joan of Arcadia." Because of the success of "Joan," NBC has moved "Miss Match," back one hour beginning tonight [Friday night] to the 8 p.m. time slot.
Let's hope it sticks--or moves to another night--because the Alicia Silverstone (left) vehicle, from Darren Starr, veteran producer/director/writer/creator of "Sex and the City," is, in a word, cute. "Miss Match" is the Hello Kitty version of "Sex and the City," a gal-pal relationshipfest minus the naughty bits--a safe "Sex," if you will.
Silverstone, as Kate Fox, a lawyer whose hobby (and talent) for matchmaking gets out of hand, is the clear star around which her interchangeable attractive friends orbit. Kate wants to help others win the relationship game as a coach on the sidelines. But, if the show continues tanking, look for a sweeps-time Hail Mary pass with Kate jumping onto the field looking for love.
Silverstone makes Kate easy to root for, and after several scenes, makes one forget about the ditzy Cher, Silverstone's star-making role in the comedy "Clueless."
The show has similar pacing as "Sex," and musical interludes between scenes that briefly hint that Carrie Bradshaw and Co. might be around the corner. Alas, they are not, but Kate is as charming a substitute as any.
Shows to watch
-If you're watching TV any evening this week, you're probably watching the baseball playoffs, which have provided more drama than all of the new fall schedule.
- TBS gets in on the house makeover genre with "House Rules," at 7 p.m. Friday.
- ABC finishes a two-part "The Bachelor," at 8 p.m. Wednesday. Here's hoping Bob keeps Meredith around.
RedEye, 10/6/03
Reality Rewind
The show: Temptation Island
7 p.m. Monday, Fox
Last episode recap: The couples decide their future. Kara and Jason: Kara wants time apart, though they get back together. Melissa and Michael: Melissa dumps him for Jerome. Eric and Kristin: stay together. Anthony and Stephanie: splitsville.
Fast-forward: How about the "Real World/Road Rules Challenge" to fill your reality TV gap?
Johnny Mosely is the host, dude, at 9 p.m. Mondays on MTV.
Get real: I hope there's not a "Temptation Island 4." The "soul-searching" couples always seem like they met the morning after MTV's spring break party.
The show: Newlyweds
9:30 p.m. Tuesday, MTV
Last episode recap: Nick and Jessica need to decorate their house. Jessica wants to hire someone to do it, while Nick wants to do it himself. Jessica whines, and Nick calls her a spoiled brat.
Fast-forward: Jessica and Nick are shooting videos, and Nick is worried his isn't as good as Jessica's.
With Jessica's shoot taking place under a waterfall, we may finally see her appeal.
Get real: Why do I flip-flop on this show?
Sometimes I can't stand it, and sometimes I can't get enough?
Am I alone here?
The show: Paradise Hotel
7 p.m. Wednesday, Fox
Last episode recap: Finale. Down to Dave and Charla and Tara and Keith.
Twist No. 1: Mix up the couples, so D&T vs. C&K, which makes it easier on jury; $500,000 given to C&K. Twist No. 2: C can give D half, as can K to T. K splits his, but C doesn't.
Fast-forward: Latch onto Spike TV's "Joe Schmo" show (8 p.m. Tuesdays), which lampoons the "Paradise Hotel"-style reality show.
Get real: $500,000 was the "ultimate" prize?!
Couldn't it have been something unexpected? Like an elephant? Or a trip to North Dakota? Or $5.29 in pennies?
The show: The Bachelor
9 p.m. Wednesday, ABC
Last episode recap: Bob narrows the women from 15 to 10. Group dates of four, five and six. During the second date, Bob is forced to boot a lady--bye, Lindsay D. In the rose ceremony, Lindsay K., Jennifer, Lanah and Chicago's Kristi are kicked to the curb.
Fast-forward: The remaining 10 women vote for who they think is most and least compatible with Bob. Those winners get one-on-one dates.
Get real: Bob has already kissed a handful of girls, and at the rate he's going, he'll set a "Bachelor" record for most tonsils hockeyed.
The show: Sorority Life/Fraternity Life
9 p.m. Wednesday, MTV
Last episode recap: On "SL," the pledges are two minutes late for a meeting!
Oh no! An emergency meeting is called to resolve who gets to drive the Range Rovers! On "FL," the pledges get Joe drunk, and he pukes on himself while riding in the trunk of a car!
Fast-forward: On "SL," uh oh! Someone's not being a good pledge! On "FL," uh oh! Robbie and Jon might get into a fight!
Get real: Let's get this straight, people: Driving the MTV-owned Range Rovers are a privilege, not a right.
The show: Survivor
7 p.m. Thursday, CBS
Last episode recap: Drake wins both reward and immunity. The immunity challenge comes down to an endurance/strength competition between Rupert and Osten, holding a tribe member above the ocean via pulley. Morgan kicks out Lillian.
Fast-forward: Trouble for Drake? Rupert is getting picked on and isn't taking it lightly. Trouble for Morgan? Osten can't swim and has to be rescued.
Get real: Morgan is so thoroughly unlikable that it would be quite welcome to see them continue their challenge-losing streak and become the all-time worst tribe.
Tuesday, October 07, 2003
RedEye, 10/3/03
'Vegas' more flash than substance
By William P. Bohlen
"Las Vegas," NBC's new drama, is a guy show through and through. It's got chicks and glitz and gambling and toughs.
But don't get too attached to the show for ratings reasons--it's up against "Monday Night Football"--in addition to the show's own shortcomings, which are plentiful. That said, there are worse ways to spend an hour.
The star, of course, is James Caan who, as Ed Deline, is a former CIA agent with a past who now heads the Montecito Casino security effort. His protege, Danny McCoy (Josh Duhamel), is a townie with a military pedigree and a penchant for attractive babes and cool cars. In fact, his current flame happens to be the boss' daughter, Delinda (Molly Sims), as Ed himself discovered in the series' opening scene when he caught them red-handed.
Caan is perfect for the role, as he should be, but it's hard not to wonder if he's mailing it in. Duhamel is quite good, except when forced to do voice-over narration. The rest of the supporting cast is just that--supporting--though more like a cardboard structure than metal. Do your best to ignore the villain of the day, who has been more caricature than character.
It's a show of contrasts. The story lines can be interesting but are too plentiful. Trying to unravel and then frantically tie them together in an hour is less enjoyable than a nice little romp through Sin City. The slick visual pacing flip-flops between interesting and distracting. Scenes that whoosh from the casino floor through the ceiling camera and into the security room are disconcerting, but the flyovers that set the Vegas scene are stellar, thanks especially to the city itself.
Shows to watch
- Jack Black hosts the season premiere of "Saturday Night Live," at 10:30 p.m. Saturday on NBC.
- Meet "Tarzan" at 8 p.m. Sunday on the WB.
- MTV has a new season of "Cribs" debuting at 9:30 p.m. Monday.
RedEye, 9/29/03
Reality Rewind
The show: Temptation Island
7 p.m. Monday, Fox
Last episode recap: Goaded by Michael, Jason yells at Sandra for saying things about Jason, which ruined Sandra's budding relationship with Michael and led to her dismissal. At the bonfire, Tiffany saw a clip of Michael saying some too-hot-for-TV things.
Fast-forward: Two-hour season finale--Fox is trying to burn the series off before the baseball playoffs start. To misquote The Clash: Will they stay (together) or will they go?
Get real: This whole "must play" clip watching is a stupid rule because they can simply choose to look away or close their eyes. "Must play" does not equal "must watch."
The show: Queer Eye for the Straight Guy
9 p.m. Tuesday, Bravo
Last episode recap: Alan Corey is a schlubby young guy who needs to get his act together to meet his girlfriend's parents. He gets it together, sort of, but has all kinds of mishaps along the way--shattered glassware and improper mint julep mixing.
Fast-forward: Seems like the beginning of a long haul of reruns. We're back where it all started, with an artist named "Butch" as he tries to get his act together for a gallery opening.
Get real: The Queer guys have been in the news recently for wanting a raise on their original $3,000-per-episode deal. You can't really blame them. The show has taken off.
The show: Newlyweds: Nick and Jessica
9:30 p.m. Tuesday, MTV
Last episode recap: Because of their hectic schedules, the newlyweds don't have, like, time for each other. So they head to the Bahamas for a vacation. Along the way, Nick visits a strip club, and Jessica learns that buffalo wings don't really contain buffalo.
Fast-forward: Seems like Jessica is told she's a spoiled brat. Maybe this is Nick's slow wake-up to the reality that is his wife.
Get real: A hint that maybe Jessica isn't so dumb? There are conspiracy theories on the Internet alleging that the buffalo wing comment was said with a wink and a nod.
The show: Paradise Hotel
7 p.m. Wednesday, Fox
Last episode recap: Seven people remain, and Amy gets kicked off. The three remaining couples--Dave and Charla, Keith and Tara, and Scott and Holly--have to decide the person who they want to give the power to kick off next.
Fast-forward: Two-hour finale. The grand prize is revealed and awarded by former hotel guests to the last couple standing, although maybe it won't be a couple but one person.
Get real: The last episode featured all sorts of strategizing, but what good is that going to do? The producers constantly change the rules.
The show: The Bachelor
8 p.m. Wednesday, ABC
Last episode recap: Premiere. We're introduced to "Bachelor" Bob and 25 single "ladies," natch. Bob gets a kiss from Kelly Jo. Bob's mom shows up to help him sort out the ladies. Bob knocks out 10 ladies, including two twins and a third lady from Chicago.
Fast-forward: The producers make Bob eliminate one lady while on a group date. What is this? "Elimidate?"
Get real: I hope the producers don't get carried away. The show depends on its consistency and its supposed romance. The more you muck it up, the less romantic it's going to seem.
The show: Survivor
7 p.m. Thursday, CBS
Last episode recap: Drake continues kicking butt. They win the reward and immunity challenges, forcing Morgan to kick off skinny Ryan. For the reward, Drake earned the right to raid Morgan's camp, so Sandra gets to take away their tarp.
Fast-forward: Armed with shovels and part of a map, the hunt begins for buried treasure. Jon and Sandra get in a screaming match, possibly threatening the cohesive Drake tribe.
Get real: If you were on the island, wouldn't you slap Osten? His constant complaining juxtaposed with shots of him throwing coconuts are enough for me to hate him.
