william p. bohlen
Tuesday, August 26, 2003
RedEye, 8/22/03
After amazing finale, CBS can keep on racing
By William P. Bohlen
Dear CBS,
If you do not renew "The Amazing Race," I will hunt you down. And I won't be alone.
As any of the millions who watched last night's season finale can tell you, "Race" is the gold standard for reality television. The show's production values are on par with "Survivor," but its action is unsurpassed. The "Survivor" folk sit and whine outside, the "Big Brother" crew sits and whines inside, but the "Race" couples whine while trying to catch planes, see exotic locales and navigate foreign countries and languages.
Last night was the "Race" at its best--catty competition and frayed nerves. We saw three teams--friends David and Jeff, gay couple Reichen and Chip, and engaged couple Kelly and Jon--take three different, tense routes from Australia to Hawaii. David and Jeff got stuck in Australia while the other two teams winged through Tokyo to the U.S. The two leading teams then caught the same flight from Honolulu to Phoenix.
After a frantic cab ride, Reichen and Chip crossed the finish line and took the million-dollar prize, minutes ahead of Kelly and Jon. Their win was deserved because they competed hard, but it wasn't tremendously satisfying because we heard too much us-versus-the-world complaining. There's momentum, CBS, for another "Race" with a gratifying victor. You can't end the series on this note.
And if avid fans don't speak loudly enough, how about money? Viewership for the show hovers just above 10 million, but those fans are passionate and, more important to advertisers, wealthy.
C'mon, CBS. Make the right call.
Shows to watch:
- NBC's "Race to the Altar" has been moved to 9 p.m. Saturdays, a symptom of low ratings.
- The show "The Restaurant" is shuttered at 9 p.m. Sunday on NBC, but the real restaurant lives on.
- "Performing As ..."--a prime-time knockoff of guilty pleasure "Your Big Break"--combines "American Idol" and dress-up, at 7 p.m. Tuesday on Fox.
- ESPN's first fictional dram, "Playmakers," behind the scenes of pro football, premieres at 8 p.m. Tuesday.
- "Temptation Island 3" begins partner swapping at 8 p.m. Thursday on Fox.
Thursday, August 21, 2003
RedEye, 8/18/03
Reality Rewind
By Will Bohlen
The show: For Love or Money 2
8 p.m. Monday, NBC
Last episode recap: We knew it was coming. You told us so. So why did you wait to bring Rob Campos back until the last five minutes? We saw everything in the previews. NBC, you owe millions of viewers an hour of their lives back. Oh, and bye Greg.
Fast-forward: Evidently, Rob Campos still has the hots for Erin. But she'll probably dismiss him first chance she gets. He's still looking creepy and, in his white jacket, like a waiter.
Get real: The extra 10 minutes FLOM2 keeps tacking on to the end of the show is extra annoying because it hurts show-tapers. A monkey could find 10 minutes of show to trim.
The show: Who Wants to Marry My Dad
9 p.m. Monday, NBC
Last episode recap: After much debating and deep-sounding-but-not-really talking, the Mueller kids choose Christena over beauty queen Christy for Don's future wife. They went for long-term match possibility over short-term attraction.
Fast-forward: "Race to the Altar," at 7 p.m. Wednesdays on NBC, is another marriage show still on the air. With Colin Cowie.
Get real: The "Dad" producers need to stick to the rules. The narration said one woman would not return, so when Christy got out of the limo, she was believed to be the choice.
The show: Boy Meets Boy
8 p.m. Tuesday, Bravo
Last episode recap: Michael tells the mates that he is attracted to both sexes, and Brian admits he's interested in Dan. Some guys head to the desert with James, and others sing karaoke. Bye-bye Matt, Michael and Dan, the latter two straight.
Fast-forward: It appears they tell James that there are straight men in the group. Ugh. Producers don't realize that not telling him will mean better ratings for the finale.
Get real: This show, for all its faults, might bolster or destroy the notion of "gaydar."
The show: Cupid
8 p.m. Tuesday, CBS
Last episode recap: The dates keep getting cuter and funnier. This time, the guys were deprived sleep for 36 hours, then sent out with $1,000 to buy Lisa dinner and an outfit, which she would wear for the date. Oh, and see ya, Scott.
Fast-forward: The Chicago contingent is still strong, with four of the eight remaining guys from the area.
Get real: Lisa is such a good sport. Despite some ill-conceived fashion choices by the guys, she bravely wore the outfits in public and didn't seem embarrassed.
The show: The Amazing Race
8 p.m. Thursday, CBS
Last episode recap: The final non-elimination leg. Teams go from Mooloolaba, Australia, to Ellis Beach, Australia. Kelly and Jon mess up a challenge to photograph a crocodile and squander their lead to David and Jeff.
Fast-forward: The finale! Teams likely travel from Australia to the U.S. for the final leg of the race and the $1 million prize. And someone gets naked.
Get real: If there is one hour of TV to watch this summer, this is it. The most gripping reality show is in its final hour. CBS, you have to bring this show back. Or else.
The show: The Restaurant
9 p.m. Sunday, NBC
Last episode recap: Rocco implements a new "captain" system for serving, and the waiters don't much care for it. Rocco trails one around for an evening, but ditches serving for schmoozing. Mama worked too hard and caught a cold.
Fast-forward: The season finale, and more of the same. Rocco vs. the staff, and we find out who's going to stay and who's going to leave. NBC promises a big surprise, but whatever.
Get real: A couple of staffers have put up blogs and Web sites to contradict NBC: broken-armed Gideon at www.gideonhorowitz.com and bartender Lola at www.misslolabelle.com.
RedEye, 8/15/03
Roseanne and crew are back
By William P. Bohlen
Just when "The Osbournes" signs off for the season, fans of screwball reality shows featuring screwed-up families now have ABC's "The Real Roseanne Show" to keep them warm.
Roseanne Barr, the star of the blue-collar sitcom "Roseanne," has been more or less out of TV since the show wrapped in 1997. "The Real Roseanne Show" chronicles her quest to get back into TV with a cooking show, "Domestic Goddess," which just happens to be for ABC Family.
The allure is that her dysfunctionally functional family is on board. Her ex-husband and his wife, who is Roseanne's assistant, are still hanging around the house, as are Roseanne's Tweedledee son Jake and Tweedledum son-in-law Jeff, co-producers of the cooking show. Roseanne's new boyfriend, whom she met on the Internet, is now making decisions about her money and career.
But Roseanne is still the star. She can't make up her mind, has a quick temper and, for all the talk of her "genius," hasn't displayed much of it. It's amazing the cooking show got made at all.
Emmy-winning documentary filmmaker R.J. Cutler ("American High," "The War Room") is executive-producing, and his touch gives the show a filmlike feel with wicked cuts and great pacing. Such a shame he's wasting his talent on this.
- Evan "Joe Millionaire" Marriott appears in a made-for-TV movie, "See Jane Date," at 7 p.m. Saturday on ABC Family.
- The new season of Comedy Central's "The Man Show," with Joe Rogan and Doug Stanhope as hosts, premieres at 9 p.m. Sunday.
- The best late-night host in Valparaiso, Ind., is back for season two. "The Michael Essany Show" premieres on E! at 9:30 p.m. Sunday.
- Shania Twain's live concert from Grant Park airs at 7 p.m. Tuesday on NBC. Or watch kids singing: The "American Juniors" group performs for the first time on Fox.
- Strangely addictive, the finals of "The World Series of Poker" air at 8 p.m. Tuesday on NBC.
- Gag me. "Newlyweds: Nick and Jessica," following the lives of stars Lachey and Simpson, premieres at 9:30 p.m. Tuesday on MTV.
Don't you dare call me at 7 p.m. on Thursday. I'll be watching the finale of CBS's "The Amazing Race," and you should be too.
RedEye, 8/11/03
Reality Rewind
By Will Bohlen
The show: For Love or Money 2
8 p.m. Monday, NBC
Last episode recap: The remaining five compete for a double date with Erin, with Wade getting left out. Erin chooses egocentric Eric for a private dinner. But the big news is Vic taking a $10,000 offer to leave the show and never see Erin again.
Fast-forward: Rob Campos is back! For some reason, he comes back to the show to try to win over Erin again. As if one time wasn't enough to know he's a creep.
Get real: Aargh! Another rule change. When Erin turned Rob down on FLOM1, we were told they could never see each other again.
The show: Last Comic Standing
7 p.m. Tuesday, NBC
Last episode recap: Two-hour finale. And the winner is ... Dat Phan? Um, OK. He's funny onstage, but he was clueless in the house. This is the guy who hid for an hour in hide-and-seek and never got that the joke was usually on him. Godspeed, Dat Phan.
Fast-forward: Now that that's over, check out the finale of "Who Wants to Marry My Dad?" on NBC tonight at 9:10. Two women remain for Don Mueller's kids to choose for his wife.
Get real: What do Dat Phan and the Mueller kids have in common? They're all a little clueless. Why do the Mueller kids trust the lie detector results so much?
The show: Boy Meets Boy
8 p.m. Tuesday, Bravo
Last episode recap: James takes a half-dozen guys to a dude ranch for some country line dancing, but some guys seem interested in the other dudes. The other six meet James for rock climbing. James chooses Franklin and Darren for one-on-ones.
Fast-forward: Disco karaoke! Place your bets: the over/under on the number of times a guy sings "It's Raining Men" is three.
Get real: Did the guys sign contracts stipulating they couldn't touch the other contestants? Or what if a gay contestant realizes that another is straight? Can he "out" him?
The show: Cupid
8 p.m. Tuesday, CBS
Last episode recap: We start with Rob getting the boot. As for the Chicago guys, Elmwood Park's Joe took Lisa house-hunting. (Already?!) Hank took her fishing. Ken took her to play volleyball and walk on a pier. Dominic mixed drinks for her at a bar.
Fast-forward: Another suitor is eliminated. More one-on-one dates. It'll be interesting to see if Lisa keeps the magic with the aw-shucks Chicago guys.
Get real: People must purposefully be voting for Ken and Robert, clearly the worst matches for Lisa.
The show: The Amazing Race
7 p.m. Thursday, CBS
Last episode recap: Four teams travel from Seoul to Brisbane, Australia. Once there, they rappel face-first down the side of a hotel. Then, it's walking amongst sharks for a clue. The clowns are eliminated.
Fast-forward: Likely a non-elimination leg. With the teams still in Australia, Chip runs over Reichen's foot with a car and Jon flips his dune buggy.
Get real: With the clowns gone, who's left to root for? The guy friends have no personality, the gay couple is too "us versus the world," and the engaged couple fight all the time.
The show: The Restaurant
9 p.m., Sunday, NBC
Last episode recap: The staff continues to revolt. Bartender Lola quits, but Rocco woos her back with a salary and a Vespa scooter. Word travels among the staff, and Topher decides to quit. Upset with cold food, Rocco finally enters the kitchen.
Fast-forward: Rocco puts in a new ordering system to ease the waiters' burdens, but it's not much better, and Rocco is pressed into service as a waiter.
Get real: The product placement is really starting to annoy. AmEx is the worst, with commercials featuring the already overexposed Rocco.
RedEye, 8/8/03
Cable is out of the closet
By William P. Bohlen
Suddenly this summer, television came bursting out of the closet.
With cable channel Bravo forging the way, it's now hip to be gay.
And not just best-friend-on-a-straight-sitcom gay or one-hour-a-week gay.
This summer, Bravo debuted two gay-focused programs, matchmaking show "Boy Meets Boy" and makeover show "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy," the latter of which has been so successful that it's elbowing onto sibling network NBC's prime-time and late-night schedules with cameos. It is making its second appearance next week in a half-hour version packaged with episodes of "Will and Grace," and the Fab Five will visit "The Tonight Show" Aug. 14-15 to help make Jay Leno and the band more presentable.
"Queer Eye" has been especially popular because it lacks a hallmark of other makeover shows: meanness. The five style experts are witty and a little catty, but also positive and helpful. And they bust a few stereotypes because only Carson, the fashion maven, is flamboyant.
But Bravo, which will show "Gay Weddings," a "reality mini-series" in September, is just at the forefront of a wave. On Monday, AMC will air "The AMC Project: Gay Hollywood," a documentary following five gay men struggling to succeed in Tinseltown. This fall, ABC will air "It's All Relative," a sitcom that crosses "All in the Family," "Good Will Hunting" and "Will and Grace"--two lovebirds with different backgrounds: His family is conservative Irish Catholic; she has two dads. And in January, Showtime, already the home of "Queer as Folk," will premiere "The L Word," a lesbian drama.
Can a mainstream gay-themed cable channel be far behind?
- Did the producers forget the rules? Rob Campos returns to see Erin on "For Love or Money 2" at 8 p.m. Monday on NBC. That's followed by the finale of "Who Wants to Marry My Dad?" at 9 p.m.
- The fifth and final tyke is added to the "American Juniors" band on Fox at 7 p.m. Tuesday, just in time to finish the Lollapalooza tour.
- Miss Teen USA is crowned on NBC at 7 p.m. Tuesday.
Tuesday, August 05, 2003
RedEye, 8/4/03
Reality Rewind
By Will Bohlen
The show:
For Love or Money 2
8 p.m. Monday, NBC
Last episode recap:
Erin and seven guys left. Wade wins a blackjack tournament and gets a solo date at the Hollywood Bowl. (No kiss.) At the elimination ceremony, it was bye-bye Thomas and Chad F.
Fast-forward:
One guy takes an offer of money to leave the game. Whoever he is, he's one smart guy. Reality show rule No. 34: Always take the money and run.
Get real:
These guys aren't nearly as much fun to watch as Paige Jones from FLOM1. Want updates on Paige? A Paige Jones thong?
Go to www.lovepaigejones.com.
The show:
Last Comic Standing
7 p.m. Tuesday, NBC
Last episode recap:
The five remaining comics--Ralphie May, Dat Phan, Tess, Rich Vos and Cory Kahaney--performed rather mediocre five-minute sets before a live Las Vegas audience. The home audience was given the chance to vote for the winner.
Fast-forward:
A two-hour--two hours?!--finale will reveal the winner. Hope for some show padding with sets by ousted comics Dave Mordal and Rob Cantrell, who are funnier than the finalists.
Get real:
It borders on outrageous when Mordal, easily the funniest comic, can't win, but it's not unusual to have an undeserving reality winner: Jenna (cough) "Survivor" (cough).
The show:
Boy Meets Boy
8 p.m. Tuesday, Bravo
Last episode recap:
Premiere. We meet James, his best gal pal Andra and 15 suitors, some gay and some secretly straight. James kicks off three--two gay and one straight--after a get-to-know-you luau.
Fast-forward:
It appears that the producers let James in on the secret, which generally makes things less interesting (e.g. FLOM1).
Get real:
This show's version of the rose ceremony skips the intermediate flower step and goes straight to handing out champagne as the token of journey continuation.
The show:
Cupid
8 p.m. Tuesday, CBS
Last episode recap:
Each of 10 suitors had to street hustle money to use on a date with Lisa. European fitness model Robert, a Schwarzenegger clone, was the most painful to watch, not understanding that muscles weren't enough.
Fast-forward:
Last week's phone voting will determine the first suitor kicked off, and we'll see the next group of dates. Hope for all one-on-one dates again to compare chemistry.
Get real:
Chicago's got four guys in the competition, and with the exception of awkward Ken, Dominic, Hank and Joe have been impressive so far.
The show:
The Amazing Race
7 p.m. Thursday, CBS
Last episode recap:
A great non-elimination leg.
The four teams go from Borneo to South Korea, where they swim under a frozen lake.
Fast-forward:
Swimming with sharks, rappelling headfirst down a skyscraper. A guaranteed elimination leg, so can Kelly and Jon keep first place? And can clowns Jon and Al hold off David and Jeff?
Get real:
A scary moment last week when the taxi carrying two teams got lost near the DMZ and was surrounded by tanks. Almost too real for reality TV.
The show:
The Restaurant
9 p.m. Sunday, NBC
Last episode recap:
Gideon broke his arm and was sent home. The staff revolted as jerky Rocco spent all his time schmoozing. Worst of all, the customers, including the New York Post's food critic, complained about late, cold and bad food.
Fast-forward:
More of the same. The staff gets closer to mutiny. The customers get angrier. It's doubtful Rocco realizes how big a pickle he's in as he likely poses for more photos and kisses ladies.
Get real:
Can we please get some better introduction to the staff? They rarely post their names, and with the exception of a few people, their faces run together after a while.
RedEye, 8/1/03
Call of the TV weddings
By William P. Bohlen
I'm getting married in less than a month and just about all I think about is the wedding. So pardon me if I'm mistaken, but it seems like the networks have had me in mind when filling up their summer schedules.
NBC's "Race to the Altar" and ABC Family's "Tying the Knot: The Wedding of Melissa Joan Hart" both premiered this week--and NBC's " 'Today' Throws a Wedding" is back again this year.
Frankly, I'll stick to caring about my own plans.
"Altar," a cross between "Fear Factor" and "The Newlywed Game," aired Wednesday and was as interesting as a pile of bricks. The rules are convoluted, the couples bland, the tasks unexciting. They tried to gussy it up with terminology, calling alliances "commitments" and the elimination ceremony the "Altar Ceremony." Ugh.
As a jaded reality TV watcher, I'm not impressed. One key to success in both reality TV and relationships: Don't force what isn't there.
As for "Knot," the serial documentary showing in one block Saturday night focuses on the Italian wedding plans of Hart, the star of "Sabrina the Teenage Witch," to Mark Wilkerson, a bestudded lead singer for some band called Course of Nature. Perhaps because it's in Italy, where people of real financial means have little hope of holding a wedding, or perhaps it's because the couple, too, suffers from blandness, but the show is uninteresting to the point where I wanted to change the channel. Better to watch the charming Sunday lead-in, "Perfect Match: New York."
Thanks to these shows and my own celebration, I'll be weddinged out by the time Trista Rehn's four hours of wedding docudrama airs in the fall.
- "Last Comic Standing" finished with a two-hour finale at 7 p.m. Tuesday on NBC.
- The next "90210"? "The O.C." premieres at 8 p.m. Tuesday on Fox.
- "The Real Roseanne Show," an ABC reality show that follows her as she starts up a cooking show--conveniently for air on ABC Family--premieres at 8 p.m. Wednesday.
RedEye, 7/30/03
What Will's Watching: Tacky meets tasteful on 'Boy Meets Boy'
By William P. Bohlen
It's getting harder and harder with reality TV to see the line between good and bad taste.
And even if the line was clearly marked, "Boy Meets Boy," which premiered on Bravo last night, happily jumped back and forth several times in the course of an hour. The show takes the familiar matchmaking show to the gay male set, but with a wicked twist. Some of the 15 guys vying for nice guy James' affection are straight.
You can't help but feel sorry for James, a shy, sweet guy who probably needed a gentle nudge to try out for the show. He's pretty much set up for some form of humiliation. Why couldn't the producers have just made a gay version of "The Bachelor," a straightforward reality dating show?
But there is one funny dynamic you can't get on "The Bachelor"--the possibility the pool of guys could fall for each other. Still, I think the ideal outcome on this show would be for James to pick a straight guy, but for the straight guy to decide to stay with James.
RedEye, 7/25/03
'Cupid' lacks Cowell's sass
By William P. Bohlen
Producer/professional churl Simon Cowell's first foray into reality TV dating shows is mildly entertaining, but notably lacking his trademark nastiness. It's also quite derivative of other shows.
"Cupid" is tame, like "The Bachelor," and somewhat refreshing because of it. Although "Cupid" avoids some of the saccharine trappings of "Bachelor"--there is no rose ceremony--it avoids wading too deeply into the gimmicky shallow endings that "Joe Millionaire" or "Mr. Personality" relied upon.
Lisa Shannon, the prize, and her two friends, feisty Laura--the Cowell stand-in--and sensible Kimberly, have narrowed a field of men to 10, which America winnows to one. If they get and stay married for a year, they win a million dollars. Imagine a mix of "Bachelor," "American Idol" and "Married by America."
Lisa is fine, another of the toothy-grinned reality TV pretty people parade, and seems like a balanced individual. Save for a couple, the remaining guys seem worthy. Such a shame any relationship would have the specter of money hanging over it.
I'm inclined to like the host, MTV VJ Brian McFayden, despite his being stiff as a board. His just-the-facts demeanor leaves little room for cloying remarks (Chris Harrison of "Bachelor") or sleazy, overdramatic pronouncements (Jordan Murphy of "For Love or Money"). In the case of reality TV hosts, less is more.
- Who knew ABC Family would be the place to be on Sundays? After the "American Idol"-style "Dance Fever" at 6 p.m., it's "Perfect Match: New York," a show where the blind date begins with two singles living together.
That's followed by a documentary series about Melissa Joan Hart's wedding.
- Continuing with its gay focus, Bravo premieres "Boy Meets Boy," a reality dating show with a gay male lead Tuesday at 8 p.m. The catch? Some of the guys are straight.
- It must be wedding season. NBC debuts "Race to the Altar," which rewards one of eight engaged couples with a lavish wedding, at 7 p.m. Wednesday.
- Missed "The Family"? It's back on ABC at 8 p.m. Wednesday.
RedEye, 7/18/03
Comics make sore losers, but show's a winner
By William P. Bohlen
If one summer reality show is to make the jump to full-fledged, regular-season prime-time television, I hope it's NBC's "Last Comic Standing."
The idea is great, but the execution is genius. A nationwide talent search winnows to 10 comics who move into a house together. They make each other laugh, in turn making us laugh. Each week, one comic is eliminated in a head-to-head stand-up showdown with another comic from the house.
But how they get to the showdown is the genius part, and future reality shows should take notes. One by one, the comics enter a photo booth and say to the camera, "I know I'm funnier than ..." The challenges are then immediately played on the theater screen, so everyone knows who each voted for and why.
Comics pride themselves on being funny, but also have notoriously thin skin when their sense of humor is called into question. It's riveting to watch the funnier-than-thou suddenly get teary-eyed, their egos punctured by the person sitting next to them.
The person with the most votes then chooses someone to challenge to a stand-up duel before a live audience. Onstage, the tables can turn quite quickly, as we saw Tuesday, when every comic ganged up on delusional sob-story Dat Phan, who then challenged the smartest and quickest comic in the house, Dave Mordal.
On a level playing field, Phan turned in a stellar performance while Mordal's was shockingly subpar, earning him the audience boot.
Mordal's loss will be felt on the show. He famously told nice guy Phan, "It's not 'Most Trustworthy Comic Standing,' it's 'Last Comic Standing.' " But Phan versus the clique of more experienced comics is an underdog scenario worth watching.
- "The Restaurant," a reality show chronicling a real Manhattan restaurant, premieres at 9 p.m. Sunday on NBC. Cool thing is you can actually eat at chef Rocco DiSpirito's "Rocco's on 22nd" if you're in New York.
- Comedy Central premieres cop-show parody "Reno 911!" at 9:30 p.m. Wednesday.
RedEye, 7/16/03
What Will's Watching: Bravo's 'Queer Eye' plays off stereotypes
By William P. Bohlen
If you can get past the blatant stereotyping of its cast, "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy," which premiered with back-to-back episodes Tuesday night on Bravo, is a light, fun hour. It's like watching five gay men use a straight man as their own personal Ken doll.
In the series premiere, the crew made mountain man set designer Brian "Butch" Schepel into a debonair New York City artist in time for his first art premiere. The second episode's target was Adam Zalta, a suburban Long Island dad.
The self-proclaimed fab five--each an expert in a different area such as food and wine or interior design--are quick with the jokes, usually playing on gay or straight stereotypes. The only makeover artist to try one's patience is camera hog Carson, the fashion maven, who speaks almost entirely in double entendre.
