william p. bohlen
Wednesday, July 16, 2003
RedEye, 7/11/03
Big Brother earns a 'B' for boring
By William P. Bohlen
"Big Brother" seems so quaint these days. One of the reality show granddaddies, it's like a relic from the reality TV golden age of 2000, when there were no fears to factor and no choices between love and money.
But its quaintness makes it Boring. Boooooooooring, with a capital "B." And this despite efforts to shake up the latest edition, airing on CBS at 7 p.m. Tuesdays, at 8 p.m. Wednesdays and at 7 p.m. Fridays, with the producer-dubbed "X-factor," in which several of the houseguests' ex-boyfriends and ex-girlfriends are also in the house.
Tuesday's premiere was interesting for all of two minutes--the time it took for them to realize who they'd be living with. Their reactions were priceless, and I'm glad the most rewarding viewing the show will offer has already happened.
I can predict what will happen over the next few months: At least one couple will have an all-out, knock-down fight and at least one couple will rekindle their old feelings.
In the meantime, there will be many inane competitions to win food or the coveted "Head of Household" title, lots of boring strategizing and too many shots of people brushing their teeth. Sounds riveting, no?
- "Banzai," an intriguing Japanese reality TV import, gives viewers opportunities to wager on zany stunts, at 7:30 p.m. Sunday on Fox.
- "For Love or Money" winner Erin is back and trying to double her prize as the star of the second edition, premiering on NBC at 8 p.m. Monday. It's followed by the premiere of "Who Wants to Marry My Dad," which is self-explanatory.
- If you can't make it down to U.S. Cellular Field, the All-Star Game airs at 7 p.m. Tuesday on Fox.
- Bravo premieres the much-hyped "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy" at 9 p.m. Tuesday.
- "Cupid" won't be too bad, if the first episode was any indication. The second airs at 9 p.m. Wednesday on CBS.
RedEye, 7/8/03
What Will's Watching: Idiots rule on 'Love'
How many idiots does it take to make a reality TV show?
Last night, on the bloated two-hour "For Love or Money" finale, Rob and his two ladies, Erin and Paige, made a strong case for three.
Paige, bless her 13-year-old self, repeatedly proclaimed her love for Rob and her willingness to choose him over the $1 million prize, but Rob decided he didn't want the sure thing and thus win both Paige and the money.
Which brings us to Erin.
She did one smart thing, in turning Rob down, but she foolishly accepted NBC's offer to risk her $1 million to become the bachelorette on the tables-turned version, premiering Monday, and possibly win $2 million and a guy.
It seems unlikely she'll see that money.
Heed this advice, future fame-seekers: When you make a deal with the reality TV devil, walk away when you're ahead.
RedEye, 7/1/03
Who wants to be a millionaire?
By William P. Bohlen
If a reality show will ever lead to murder, "For Love or Money" is a possibility.
Paige Jones, the 21-year-old slumber party princess, is the most likely to go "Fatal Attraction" on Rob Campos if she isn't picked in Monday's two-hour finale.
She might do us a favor. Dunderhead lawyer Rob is proof of simple reality television economics. Quality is the inverse of quantity. The more shows there are in need of bachelors, the less desirable those bachelors will be.
Rob's a mumbling, bumbling dude with no redeeming qualities. Without the TV cameras and the promise of $1 million, he'd be a nobody.
Monday night, he eliminated Prada queen Kelly and kept Erin and Paige, the show's real star. She has dreamy stars in her doe eyes and says all the right things a reality TV naif should. "I barely know you, but I feel like I'm falling in love with you," she said on Monday night's show.
Rob is at least smart enough to doubt widdle ol' Paige's intentions with money involved. "Maybe she's the greatest con artist ever," he said.
"If Rob picks me, this will be a fairy-tale ending," Paige said, eyes twinkling. "The girl will get the guy and the million dollars, and we will live happily ever after."
She doesn't know that she'll have to choose between the two, and if she picks Rob, he gets $1 million instead. Her reaction will be the reason to watch.
- Will "the Christians" Robin and Shannon chicken out of the nude photo shoot on "America's Next Top Model," at 8 p.m. Tuesday on UPN?
- "The Amazing Race" teams experience culture shock in traveling from Amsterdam to India at 7 p.m. on CBS Thursday.
- Don't want to fight traffic? Fox airs the Grant Park fireworks at 8 p.m. Thursday.
- For Friday fireworks, there's Barry Bostwick ("Who's Barry Bostwick?") hosting "A Capitol Fourth" at 7 p.m. on PBS; "Macy's 4th of July Fireworks Spectacular" airs at 8 p.m. on NBC; and CBS has the "Boston Pops Fireworks Spectacular" at 9 p.m.
RedEye, 6/30/03
What Will's Watching: Chicago bartender a regular on reality TV
If you watch Fox's "Paradise Hotel" at 8 p.m. Monday, you might see a familiar face. But you probably won't recognize 28-year-old Chicago bartender Toni Ferrari from your neighborhood watering hole.
She's best remembered as "bug-eyed Toni" from "Love Cruise," a forgettable Fox show from waaaaaay back in 2001. Angry at a fellow contestant, her eyes bulged from their sockets in one of the show's few scenes to make a lasting impression. It was a moment heavily hyped by Fox commercials at the time.
On "Paradise Hotel," Ferrari has played mother hen, attempting to shepherd sweet-faced Charla into finding a strategy, while shacking up with bad boy Andon, Charla's potential crush. Each week, the contestant who hasn't paired up is kicked out and a new one is brought in from a studio audience.
Ferrari joins a handful of reality TV contestants to make return appearances, but is in select company--perhaps only with "Bachelorette" Trista Rehn--for multiple prime-time network series runs. Others have parlayed their reality fame into one-time shots on other shows such as "Blind Date" and "Dog Eat Dog."
