william p. bohlen
Thursday, April 24, 2003
RedEye, 4/21/03
Masked marketing
Will fans embrace 'Mr. Personality,' or will Monica and the disguises be too creepy?
By William P. Bohlen
For RedEye
Tonight! On Fox! Take several stereotypes, Monica Lewinsky, and the cast of Blue Man Group, shake well, and you've got "Mr. Personality!" We're trying to make you queasy! Tonight! Only on Fox!
Armed with Hayley--the kind of generic successful pretty woman who shows up on reality dating shows--and the idea that women sometimes care about a man's looks, "Mr. Personality" aims to be The Next Big Thing in reality dating shows. But can viewers get over host Lewinsky, let alone a particularly squeamish "hook"?
The 20 men wear masks that cover their entire heads, leaving spaces only for their eyes and mouth--the better to kiss, my dear. And Hayley sees Mr. Right's face only after she has chosen him.
For Fox, and other reality matchmaking networks, the goal is less about having Hayley and Zorro marry. (Of reality pairings so far, Trista and Ryan of ABC's "The Bachelorette" are the only ones approaching a wedding.)
It's more about attracting viewers, and, when it's good, people like to watch. The "Joe Millionaire" finale drew 40 million.
But the reality television graveyard is littered with ill-fated attempts to find a ratings grabber from fame grubbing paramours. For every "The Bachelor," there has been a "Bachelorettes in Alaska." Fox is trying to revive the magic of "JM" and to forget "Married by America," which flopped despite a promising premise.
"Joe Millionaire" captured lightning in a bottle. The matchmaking genre was primed with the success of "The Bachelor," genial butler Paul Hogan was a sly host, the show had a wicked hook with the false fortune, and it unwound with a clear good (Zora) vs. evil (Sarah) battle to be star Evan Marriott's choice.
"Married by America," which failed to deliver on its name as none of five couples got hitched, had awful timing and a flawed execution. It aired during the war, but it also had an annoying host, a silly pageant-like selection procedure and rules that seemed to change on a whim.
Don't underestimate that last point. No matter how gag-inducing it may sound, the oft-mentioned "process" matters on these shows. Setting the ground rules of the game makes it easier for viewers to follow, to picture what they would do in the star's place. The standard rules are these: There must be a (shallow) pool of contestants, a desirable "catch," a series of "fantasy" dates and some form of elimination. Most importantly, there must be plenty of champagne, rose petals, candles and hot tubbing.
"Mr. Personality" should have all of those, but if there's one thing that's already creeping people out, it's the sight of Hayley and several serial killers in a hot tub. Or maybe it's Hayley making out (freedom kissing?) with a Rock'em Sock'em Robot. Or maybe it's her removing a suitor's "Eyes Wide Shut" mask in a pitch-black basement room and feeling his face. Ick.
It's going to be freakishly bizarre, but that means people may watch. And that's without even talking about Lewinsky, who will serve as Hayley's confidante. Because, really, who better to advise someone on men?
I think we all know what's next for Fox: "Who Wants to Marry Monica Lewinsky?"
Monday, April 21, 2003
RedEye, 4/18/03
By William P. Bohlen
On Tuesday's "Buffy," the Slayer led the Scooby Gang and the Slayerettes into battle with Sunnydale's new Big Bad, an agent of the First Evil, resulting in mayhem, blindness and death. Meanwhile, dark Slayer Faith returned, potentially driving a stake into the show's Spuffiness.
That will make sense to some people, but not so much me. I didn't write it.
My friend Gretchen, a "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" fanatic and fluent speaker of Buffese, did. I watched the episode, enjoyed it and even laughed at what I think were the appropriate places. The series only has four more episodes to go, so I figured I should pay my respects before its slow march to the Sunnydale cemetery.
There is so much to admire about "Buffy"--the pop culture references, the camp, the quick pace and the scary scenes. But there is so much to keep casual viewers like me away: the complex story line with rules of engagement changing constantly, the soap opera-like character carousel, the rabid fan base and its tireless devotion to fan fiction, plot deconstruction and online talk. Frankly, it's intimidating, which is why I never got into it.
"Buffy" appears to be ending at the right time, going out before it's over the hill, but it'll still be a sad moment for "Buffy" acolytes when the final credits roll.
- Fox has a special Monday edition of "American Idol" airing at 7 p.m., followed by the premiere of yet another trashy (but delicious!) reality dating show, "Mr. Personality." One woman chooses between a gaggle of mask-wearing men while confiding in host Monica Lewinsky.
- NBC goes Fox on us with "Psychic Secrets Revealed" at 7 p.m. Wednesday.
- Chicago's Jen S. and Liz, two of six remaining, see if they can survive another round with Mr. Tire on ABC's "The Bachelor" at 8 p.m. Wednesday.
Tuesday, April 15, 2003
RedEye, 4/11/03
No real winners in Fox's new line of sitcoms
By William P. Bohlen
Fox has unveiled its three latest sitcom efforts and, cliche of cliches, they represent the good, the bad and the ugly.
The good: "Wanda at Large." The bad: "Oliver Beene." The ugly: "The Pitts," which is, well, [insert obvious joke here]. None, though, crack the pantheon of must-see sitcoms.
"Wanda" comes the closest. Brash comedian Wanda Sykes stars as a Sunday news show panelist and reporter. She brings street cred to the stuffy program, personified by fellow panelist and potential love interest Bradley, played by Phil Morris, who played "Seinfeld" lawyer Jackie Chiles. Their snappy bickering shines above the drab supporting cast. The show would be perfect if the two sat on an empty stage, swapped insults for 23 minutes and made out for two.
With "Oliver Beene," the premise has promise. It's "Wonder Years" meets "Malcolm in the Middle," although the elements haven't yet meshed. The "Wonder Years"-inspired narration is overused on "Beene," and the family, for all its quirks, just isn't as likeable as Malcolm's. The show feels cobbled together; perhaps it needs time to stretch its legs. Or maybe one "Malcolm"-like show is all the creative market will support.
As for "The Pitts," you'd think a show developed by former "Simpsons" folks would actually be funny. You'd think. "The Pitts" is about a family that has the most rotten luck. And the most rotten laugh track. I turned the TV off. The realization that "Andy Richter Controls the Universe" is still on the shelf at Fox while "The Pitts" is on the air was too much to bear.
I'll admit that I've been watching: "Married by America" concludes with a juicy two-hour wedding finale, at 7 p.m. Monday on Fox.
"Watching Ellie," Julia Louis-Dreyfus' promising sitcom that was tabled by NBC, is back at 8:30 p.m. Tuesday.
Chicago "Bachelor" fans lost Elizabeth, but saw Jen S. and Liz move on to the two-hour episode at 8 p.m. Wednesday on ABC.
Tuesday, April 08, 2003
RedEye, 4/4/03
Greek life you love to hate
By William P. Bohlen
In this serious time of war, if there were anything on television more inane and frivolous than MTV's "Sorority Life" and "Fraternity Life" series, I haven't found it.
Full disclosure: I was never in a fraternity, knew very few people who were and have a general stereotype about the Greek system. MTV has done nothing but reinforce that stereotype.
"SL" and "FL" take place at the University at Buffalo.
The girls and boys have a rivalry, which makes it convenient for MTV--which supplied each with a "Real World"-style pledge house, use of new Land Rovers and the omnipresent T-shirts promoting a Greek-life Web site--because MTV recycles footage, like it did Wednesday night with a back-and-forth prank war that was shown back-to-back on both shows.
With all the repeated scenes in one hour, I deserve 15 minutes of my life back.
Strangely fascinating is that the pledges for the sorority DZO are all skinny, and the girls who run the house are, well, not. ("FL" pledge Tim, after a panty raid: "I'd never date a DZO girl. Their underwear are huge!") More enthralling is how self-serious the people are. I hope they now realize how silly they look.
But here's the kicker: I actually enjoy watching these shows. Love to hate 'em. Curse you MTV!
Shows to watch
- All three Chicago women (Liz, Elizabeth, Jen S.) advanced to the next round of "The Bachelor," along with Tina P. from Wisconsin. Andrew must have a thing for Midwestern gals. Tune in at 8 p.m. Wednesday to see who makes the next cut.
- It's a bad Cher day Tuesday as NBC turns over its prime-time schedule to the diva. A repeat of "Will and Grace" with a cameo by Cher at 7 p.m. is followed at 8 p.m. by "Cher: The Farewell Tour," which probably won't be.
RedEye, 3/28/03
'Bachelor' keeps it real--real white
By William P. Bohlen
The producers of "The Bachelor" are very pleased with themselves. They landed a handsome star who is, more importantly, rich.
On Wednesday night, they bludgeoned us over the head with that fact. "Stay tuned, we've got the real millionaire," said host Chris Harrison in a too-obvious jab at a rival show. We get it. He's Richie Rich, Mr. Moneybags.
But how they got Andrew Firestone is a bit of a farce. Despite a nationwide open-casting call, they found Andrew by calling his married brother, who recommended Andrew instead. But the producers on Wednesday's show made it seem like Andrew waited in line with all the others.
We met those other "finalists," including Dain, who seemed to be the best of the bunch: a gold medal-winning pro beach volleyball player who drives a Porsche, lives in Santa Monica and despite it all, seems grounded. The only apparent problem? Dain is black. That wouldn't jibe with the lily-white theme of "The Bachelor."
Andrew will be the one sipping champagne, dipping in the hot tub, lipping with the 25 ladies, including Christina, Cristina, Kristen, Kirsten and two Tinas. There are two Amys, two Jennifers and Ginny, Liz and Elizabeth. Almost all are white, almost all are blond.
Three are Chicagoland's own, and each seemed overly focused on weddings, even though the "process" has yet to produce a wedding. (Unsubstantiated rumor: Trista and Ryan are breaking up.) Jennifer "Jen" S., 26, said, "My wedding day is going to be like my own little fairy tale." Liz, 23, dressed up in her grandmother's wedding gown, a bad luck omen when done before engagement. Judging from the previews, though, she looks to be around for a while.
Finally, there is Elizabeth, 24, of Bolingbrook, who, in her interview, was teary-eyed-desperate to get married. Root for Tiffany, the 26-year-old opera singer/mansion caretaker. Although she sounds blue-blood, she seems down-to-earth. Which means she won't last. Sigh.
RedEye, 3/24/03
Telecast as good as a tasty rice cake
By William P. Bohlen
For once, an Oscar telecast ended on time, supposedly subdued because of the war with Iraq.
Guess what? At three-and-a-half hours, it was still too long.
After one hour, we'd zipped through the opening monologue, eight awards, two best song nominee performances, one best picture nominee and one war update interruption.
But the third hour dragged into the fourth, and even Steve Martin's able--but not particularly memorable--hosting could not keep one from looking at the clock. The presentation of all the Oscar winners from the past and present was a nice gesture but dragged on when the show should have been winding down.
A very pregnant Catherine Zeta-Jones, who later won best supporting actress, joined a not-pregnant Queen Latifah for a rousing number from "Chicago." Paul Simon and U2 also played their nominated pieces, but none of them won for best song. The award instead went to Eminem, who didn't perform and wasn't there.
With one very notable exception, the stars made slight mention of the war. Susan Sarandon flashed two fingers for peace and a few winners echoed her sentiments in their acceptance speeches. Filmmaker Michael Moore, though, winner of best documentary for "Bowling for Columbine," used his time to blast President Bush. "We live in a time when we have fictitious election results and a fictitious president . . . [and] a war for fictitious reasons," Moore said to equal parts cheers and jeers. "Shame on you, Mr. Bush."
Moore's speech aside, the ceremony was relatively breezy.
And the Oscars showed why it was the best of the awards shows--which is like saying the tastiest of rice cakes--by sending just one person out to present an award, avoiding the inane banter that plagues other shows with multiple presenters. (Cough, cough. MTV Movie Awards. Cough, cough.)
But if I have to hear "All That Jazz" one more time...
RedEye, 3/21/03
By William P. Bohlen
I want my MTV.
Or, more specifically, I want my MTV to stop trying to be CNN and return to pushing trashy pop culture and trashy consumer goods on impressionable young viewers.
I settled down Wednesday night after a long day of war anxiety hoping to drop in on the gals of "Sorority Life" and the guys of "Fraternity Life." Instead, I got MTV News mainstay John Norris (how old is he, anyway?) and annoying pup Gideon Yago on the TRL stage, spoon-feeding Gerberized Iraq news to the kiddies at home.
MTV's role in this war should be to provide an opiate for the masses who don't want to see military experts dissecting war scenarios against a backdrop of static footage of a nondescript Baghdad cityscape. Speaking of which, when the networks do the grainy green night-vision shots, if you squint hard enough, it looks like grainy green night-vision footage of some reality-TV nookie.
I gave up on being entertained by MTV and went back to the news networks hoping to go to bed informed, and I was, partially. After initial word of the bombing runs and the president's address, it was mostly speculation. The news organizations have perfected the war-time art of keeping you hanging on by jumping quickly from reporter to reporter, each sharing some crumb of information, a trail to the truth.
Only when you turn off the television and break the networks' spell do you realize all you've got is a handful of crumbs. More nutritious than MTV, but hardly nourishing.
Shows to watch
- No red carpet extravaganza, but the Oscars are supposed to take place as planned 7:30 p.m. Sunday on ABC. Check RedEye's special coverage Monday for my take on the telecast.
- The third season of "The Bachelor" premieres at 8 p.m. Wednesday on ABC. This time around, the women try to hook "catch" Andrew Firestone, a wealthy heir to the tire fortune.
RedEye, 3/14/03
By William P. Bohlen
It happens very rarely for me, but every so often I'll be channel surfing and I'll serendipitously stumble onto a new show that ends up becoming a must-see. It happened with my favorite show, "The Amazing Race," and now it's happened with TLC's "Faking It." The second episode airs at 9 p.m. Friday.
"Faking It" is a show in which people step out of their ordinary lives for a month, learn a new trade or craft, and then attempt to fool experts into believing they've been doing it their whole lives. Think MTV's "Made" for adults with the same visual feel and pacing of "Trading Spaces."
Last week, David Dougherty, a beer-drinkin', newsboy-cap-wearin' carpenter from Braintree, Mass., spent a month in Los Angeles learning to become a Hollywood-style interior designer. He was so darn likable as he went from gruff to graceful (sort of) via design knowledge-cramming, an awkward cocktail party, a makeover, acting lessons and, ultimately, his showdown with three other designers in which the judges didn't single him out as the fake. His several crises of confidence made his Cinderella-like triumph worthwhile.
On tonight's episode, Lesley Townsend, a bookish Harvard grad with a Chinese history degree, tries to become an NFL cheerleader.
How does TLC do it? The network has found its niche--entertaining, innocuous, endearingly cheesy reality programming--and keeps coming back with new shows that neatly fit the confines of that niche. ABC, with its alternating sappy romances and laser-pointer beefcake-judging reality shows, should take a hint.
Shows to watch
- "Survivor: Amazon" moves to CBS Wednesday at 7 p.m. this week to make way for the NCAA men's basketball tourney.
- If you're having withdrawal, "The Bachelor: Where Are They Now?" could be your fix. We go wedding-dress shopping with Trista and see a proposal for another former bachelorette at 8 p.m. Wednesday on ABC.
RedEye, 3/7/03
Fox descends into lameness with 'Married by America'
By William P. Bohlen
For a show that could be so downright revolting for all the right reasons, Fox's "Married by America" is downright revolting for all the wrong ones.
Instead of being a sham marriage show on par with the Fox classic "Who Wants to Marry a Multi-Millionaire?" (television that is outrageous in the truest sense of the word), "MBA" has been babied into a lame engagement pageant followed by several weeks of cohabitation. All that is required of the couples, after America pairs them up by phone vote, is that they get engaged sight unseen.
As we've seen with "The Bachelor" and "Joe Millionaire," reality TV commitments are as flimsy as Corey Feldman's career. If the couples get married at the end of the trial run, they are rewarded with a house and other goodies; in other words, a bribe.
Who's taking bets on how many of the five couples won't be together in a year? Is it just me, or is once-gross Fox getting lame-o, what with the "Joe Millionaire" surprise "twist" being a million-dollar fairytale ending and with the noncommittal committal at the end of "MBA"?
"MBA" confirms that the interesting part of reality dating shows is the winnowing of contestants through dates. You find someone to root for or against. We didn't get to know Smithy enough in the lightning-round Q&A to care whether he lasted.
Perhaps the show will get better once the couples move into their mansion (containing the requisite Jacuzzi, no doubt) and get to know their newly beloved, but there won't be anyone left to notice, including me.
Shows to watch
- "Oliver Beene," what looks like "The Wonder Years" meets "Malcolm in the Middle," premieres at 7:30 p.m. Sunday on Fox.
- ABC premieres "All American Girl," a Miss America pageant-type event, at 8 p.m. Wednesday.
The Chicago Tribune, 3/4/03
What the world needs now: Snow
By William P. Bohlen
Special to the Tribune
WASHINGTON--For long spells here these past two weeks, snow-buried Beltway denizens have worried less about plastic sheeting and more about driveway shoveling.
In Jerusalem last Tuesday, the city got hit with nearly a foot of snow, and its anxious residents made snowmen, not war.
On Washington newscasts, storm teams have superseded talk of war and terror alert status, and in Jerusalem, top news for once was the weather, pushing Mideast tension to the far side of the commercial break.
To paraphrase famous philosopher Burt Bacharach, what the world needs now is snow, sweet snow. Forget a war with Iraq or a debate between Saddam Hussein and President Bush. The two leaders should take a cue from Palestinian children and Jerusalem cops -- a snowball fight is much more fun, and possibly more productive.
No matter how tense the times or how dangerous the situation, snow has a way of alleviating anxiety and focusing attention on what's really important: salting the sidewalk, wiping children's noses and perfecting hot cocoa -- a little cinnamon, or perhaps some vanilla?
When flakes first flit from the sky, they're mesmerizing. The calming effect has something to do with how snow falls -- methodical, constant, unhurried -- and lands, alighting on a surface with the Grace of Ms. Kelly.
"You don't usually see people smiling like this," Mike Harrington, a Californian, told The New York Times in Jerusalem on Tuesday, after the city was blanketed in white.
Fallen snow, more than falling snow, soothes fears and frayed nerves even more because it commands attention instead of politely asking for it.
In order to live life, the white powder must first be cleared. Chores replace powder-keg jitters, and worries become blandly local. There are school and work closings to listen for, pavement to shovel, road crews to complain about. I don't care if the terrorists hit again, I've got a driveway to scoop. There won't be any suicide bombers today -- they have to dig out before they can get anywhere.
Nothing makes one's thoughts more selfish than snow, and there is hardly room for global concerns. How much food do I have? Do I need to leave the house? Why won't my neighbor shovel his walk so that I can pass by without getting snow in my shoes?
The selfish tendencies are especially noticeable in Washington because Chicago-style winters are the exception, not the rule. Around D.C., schools close at the threat of snow, businesses shutter after a few flakes have fallen, and some streets remain covered in the hopes the sun will clear the road faster than an overworked, understaffed crew can get to it. Expats from colder climes simultaneously whine about the Washington area's snow naivete and boast of Boston's or Minneapolis' or Chicago's ability to clear 3 feet in three hours.
(To be fair, Washington has gotten more snow than Chicago this year -- nearly 40 inches to 18.5 at last count, according to the National Weather Service.)
And even after a blizzard has passed, and the temperatures rise above freezing, it takes days or weeks to think again about weapons of mass destruction. The slush remains, the car gets dirty and our sidewalk hikes are punctuated with puddle-jumping bunny hops. All the while, we remain blissfully turned inward, curled up on the couch or watching that our shoes don't fill with water.
The federal government lowered the national terror alert from orange to yellow Thursday. Officials cited the end of the Muslim hajj holiday period as the cause, but the 6 inches that settled peacefully on Washington at the end of last week surely played a role.
In all its forms, snow heals wounds and seals rooms better than any amount of duct tape can.
RedEye, 2/28/03
Networks trade laughs for low-brows
By William P. Bohlen
On television this year, there have been a lot more yucks and a lot fewer yuks.
Networks executives have flocked to low-brow reality programming like a drug, shunning the faithful sitcom. High ratings of shows like "Joe Millionaire" and "The Bachelorette" have the TV suits looking for their next high, possibly in the upcoming "Married by America" on Fox or "Love for Sale" on ABC.
Not all reality television is junk, but a good part of it is. For every hour-long "Fear Factor" on NBC this year, there are two fewer opportunities for the peacock network to launch a potential "Seinfeld."
Sitcoms are a worthwhile format: Viewers can digest light entertainment in half-hour-sized bites. They are lucrative for networks, too, as syndication helps them rake in money long after the show stops. In the drive for ratings, networks must be overlooking the tortoise-like sitcom in the quest for the hare-like reality show.
CBS debuted an anomaly on Monday--a midseason sitcom, "My Big Fat Greek Life," based on Nia Vardalos' surprise hit movie. It's nothing special and has that generic "CBS sitcom" look to it. The jokes are telegraphed and the characters are overacted. The chemistry--though not the entire cast--is mostly intact from the movie, but it's not a show to set the VCR for. In fact, most sitcoms aren't VCR-worthy.
There are a few, however, that have pushed the genre to new heights. My short list of quality shows: "Scrubs," "Malcolm in the Middle," "The Simpsons," "That '70s Show" and "The Bernie Mac Show." Most other sitcoms? Yuck.
Shows to watch
- At long last, "Married by America" premieres at 7 p.m. Monday on Fox.
- No, it's not a "Sopranos"-style mob drama. "The Family," in which middle-class family members compete for $1 million, premieres at 9 p.m. Tuesday on ABC.
RedEye, 2/21/03
Humiliation, whining are only reasons to watch
By William P. Bohlen
The only good thing going for "I'm a Celebrity--Get Me Out of Here!" is that it'll be over soon.
The "Survivor" clone (remember the lawsuit brought on by CBS?), runs for 15 straight days, and then it'll be another reality show corpse buried between "Murder in Small Town X" and "Lost."
It premiered on ABC Wednesday after "The Bachelorette," and if that isn't a generous lead-in, I don't know what is. But expect the ratings to drop precipitously as it jumps time slots night to night. This may have been a better idea during the slow summer season, when reruns dominate and shows like CBS' "Big Brother" can find a small but loyal audience. During sweeps month, however, it's a big gamble.
Here's what to know about the sometimes-live show: 10 quasi-celebrities are camping and complaining in the Australian jungle, earning food through gross-out contests like red carpet scamp Melissa Rivers putting ants in her pants.
Former MTV VJ "Downtown" Julie Brown, J.Lo ex-husband Cris Judd, and a hairy, rotund, bossy Robin Leach, host of "Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous," are among the other B-, C- and even D-listers who are whining about rugged hardships for charity.
About the only precious moment came on the first episode, when a dim bulb went off in Rivers' head. "We did not sign up to be humiliated!" she cried. Melissa, hon, you might have signed up to revive a flaccid career, but any viewers left are there only to see you humiliated.
WB's "The Surreal Life" was a better incarnation of the Hollywood-fish-out-of-water show, because even though it took place in a mansion, the people were more interesting: MC Hammer, Emmanuel "Webster" Lewis, Corey Feldman. Webster and Hammer sharing bunkbeds? Priceless.
RedEye, 2/20/03
Nice guy finishes 1st; 'Bachelorette' picks sensitive firefighter
By William P. Bohlen
Shocker! Just when we had about given up on "Bachelorette" Trista Rehn as a woman as slimy as the men who starred on "The Bachelor," she went and completely redeemed herself by picking Ryan Sutter, a Colorado firefighter with a giant heart. Sometimes good guys do finish first.
"This day is a day I have dreamt about...," Trista told Ryan on Wednesday's show. "Since I was a little girl, I had visions of a man who I could see my future with, but someone whose face was also blurred until now."
Ryan, usually ready with a poem, was briefly flustered. "Um, I started down, ooh man, I started down this road hoping for love, and I think I was only able to make it to the end because I found it."
On one knee, he proposed. Trista, beaming along with the nation, accepted.
And a greater moment preceded that one.
It was the most surprising and satisfying denouement in reality TV history when the first limo pulled up and we saw Charlie's smug grin, and realized he was probably the loser. It was precious, especially when couched in Charlie's affirmations that he had won, case closed. "I'm very confident in where I stand," said the overbearing oaf.
When Trista slapped Charlie with reality, he showed no visible sadness. Pretty clear he wasn't in love. In the limo, although Charlie said he was hurt, he appeared angry, like a teammate had dropped an easy pop-up to let in the winning run.
If it was a deliberate ruse, ABC did a masterful job getting viewers to think Charlie was the winner, and that Trista was pregnant with his child. It sure was fun to have that notion turned on its head.
Early in the show, both men flew to St. Louis to meet Trista's family, and it was those moments that really made this show worthwhile.
Weeks ago, as we marched toward a seemingly inevitable Charlie-Trista union, "Bachelor"/"Bachelorette" fatigue began to set in. Between previous "Bachelor" Aaron Buerge and "Bachelorette" Trista, we had several months of microdrama and fantasy-dates-to-end-all-fantasy-dates. The franchise almost wore out its welcome.
This happy ending could go a long way in restoring our faith in the format that has launched two failed relationships. We need a break from this show, but not permanently.
In the meantime, let's raise a glass to Trista, Ryan and true love, however it may be found.
RedEye, 2/14/03
How shallow can you be?
By William P. Bohlen
It's only a matter of time until a show more mind-numbingly worse and downright insulting comes along, but until that time, "Are You Hot? The Search for America's Sexiest People" will have to do.
Clearly stealing its idea from guilty pleasure Web site www.hotornot.com, this ABC show, which premiered last night, gratuitously exploits butts and breasts in an effort to keep eyeballs glued to the boob tube. It's also an "American Idol" rip-off, sans the talent element, as three celebrity judges, including model Rachel Hunter, serve up harsh critiques of the bodies in front of them. Example: "She's got a face for radio, and it's not even FM."
But, as you'd expect, most contestants are as shallow as the show, and they get what they deserve. In fact, the show could change its name to "Are You Stupid?" or "Are You Cocky?" Some had one or the other, or both, traits going for them, even in our fair Chicago.
It's a shame there's no "Are You Smart?" competition. Or maybe "Are You a Smart-Ass TV Critic?"
Shows to watch
- "The Simpsons" celebrates its 300th episode with 90 minutes of shows, including two new ones, beginning Sunday at 6:30 p.m. on Fox.
- "High School Reunion" winds down with a marriage proposal Sunday at 8 p.m. on the WB.
- Evan makes his final choice (Sarah?) and breaks the $50 million news on "Joe Millionaire," in a two-hour special at 7 p.m. Monday on Fox.
- Fox wins this week's Wacko Jacko prize, Thursday at 7 p.m., with Michael's take on last week's controversial ABC documentary.
- Trista taps Charlie (maybe) on the two-hour final episode of "The Bachelorette," ABC Wednesday at 7 p.m. The alphabet network follows up with the premiere of "I'm a Celebrity, Get Me Out of Here," a Survivor clone featuring has-beens and wannabes at 9 p.m. The next day at 7 p.m., ABC interviews Trista and her new squeeze.
RedEye, 2/7/03
By William P. Bohlen
It may have been a documentary, but ABC's Michael Jackson special last night hardly qualified as "reality television."
Jackson lives as far from reality as possible. "Wacko Jacko" thinks of himself as Peter Pan, has a zoo and a carnival at his ranch, and likes to throw water balloons and climb trees. Which is fine when you're 10, not 44.
What's not fine is treating one's own children like pets or dolls. What's not fine is lying about how one's child came into being. What's not fine is inviting strangers' kids into bed.
The documentary was well done and seemed fair, although Jackson has since decried it as breaking the trust he had with interviewer Martin Bashir. Bashir narrated the show as a trip to the bottom of Jackson's psyche, and he informed us that he became increasingly troubled by the fading pop star's disconnect from reality.
There were some details of Jackson's life revealed that were, frankly, disturbing. We learned about Tatum O'Neal's efforts to seduce Michael as a teenager and about his brothers having sex with groupies while he was in the room. We learned about his rushing his newborn daughter, placenta still attached, home without letting her recover with her mother. He said he's had only two operations on his face, both on his nose to help him hit high notes. He said the mother of two of his children was fine with letting him keep their children.
A friend of mine posed a hypothetical: Would you rather have Michael Jackson or Mike Tyson take care of your children for an evening? After watching the documentary last night, I'm not sure I have an answer.
Shows to watch
- "Survivor: Amazon" premieres Thursday, 7 p.m., CBS, and even though I've trashed the idea of another "Survivor," here are two reasons this edition might be good TV: 1. A deaf contestant. 2. A tribe of women taking on a tribe of men.
- Vying for your attention Thursday night at 7 p.m. will be the premiere of ABC's series called, "Are You Hot? The Search for America's Sexiest People."
RedEye, 1/31/03
Sketchy is key on reality TV
By William P. Bohlen
Want to succeed on a reality dating show? The key, evidently, is sketchiness.
The Smoking Gun reported this week that Sarah Kozer, the remaining buxom blond from "Joe Millionaire" who nearly fell out of her bikini Monday night, has appeared in low-budget bondage and fetish films, including "Novices in Knots," "Helpless Heroines" and "Dirty Soled Dolls."
Recent episodes of "Joe Millionaire" could have been a clue into her spotty past. Besides her evil-stepsister-style plotting with curly, curvy Melissa, Sarah spent time on Monday with "JM" star Evan in some off-camera but on-microphone extracurricular activity in which Fox vilely subtitled some of the session with (gulp) and (slurp). No one knows exactly what happened, but it now seems plausible her moaning was actually acting.
She's not the only one to give viewers the chills these days. Discarded "JM" money-grubber Heidi, Russ and Charlie on "The Bachelorette," and Dan (The Player) from "High School Reunion" are various shades of slimy.
Russ is a heartbreak away from "stalker," and Charlie, the rumored winner of Trista's heart, has a slightly intimidating and domineering demeanor; his closed-mouth smiles seem calculated, and he has expressed displeasure about Trista possibly being intimate with others.
And finally there's Dan, the former Oak Park-River Forest High School student, who wooed girls from his teenage days with frat-boy cockiness and a beer belly. Nicole, the tall girl who finally bought a clue, thought he walked on water. Natasha, the popular girl, thought Dan to be Mr. Romantic after a moonlit date. It's the Maui setting, sweetheart, and the free booze.
Shows to watch
- Big news on "Malcolm in the Middle": Lois is pregnant. If true, could the show be jumping the shark? 8 p.m., Sunday on Fox.
- The remake of the old "Dragnet" begins at 9 p.m., Sunday on ABC. Promising grit, the show gives Ed O'Neill another chance to prove he's more than Al Bundy.
RedEye, 1/30/03
'Bachelorette' nears reality
By William P. Bohlen
Finally, something approximating reality.
Last night, on "The Bachelorette," we got to see Trista's boys--Charlie, Ryan, Russ and Greg--in their natural element. We met their parents and saw them outside the posh, plush confines of their temporary California mansion.
In the end, Greg didn't make it to the next round, but he'll get over it. He's a big boy.
Trista first visits Ryan, the gentle firefighter from Vail, sappy poetry at the ready. (Confidential to R from Colorado: Poetry doesn't have to rhyme.) He takes her to the firehouse to meet his second family. Immediately, we are struck again by how genuine he is--caring, giving, unpretentious. And that's before we meet his parents, who treat him like a well-adjusted, sensitive adult. Just stop here, Trista. Ryan will make you a better person.
But no, we move on to New York City. Greg picks Trista up with his motorcycle, which she digs. She meets his family and we learn his dad passed away 10 years ago. When we see his apartment, though, Greg the Mysterious becomes Greg the Cramped. Trista is decidedly not happy with Greg's pad. I'd guess Greg doesn't spend much time there anyway.
On to San Francisco and Russ. Russ is nervous, and maybe gay? Probably not, but some affectations are showing. Russ' family is big and boisterous, and decidedly not telegenic. Real people on a reality show! Alert the networks! In any event, Russ is losing his slimy edge and is turning annoying and slightly pathetic. Perhaps his initial brashness was to compensate for insecurity.
Finally, we're in rainy Flagstaff, Ariz., to see Charlie's folks. Charlie's mom gives Trista the De Niro "Meet the Parents" treatment. Charlie's brother is probably still talking. Warning about entering Charlie's family: There will be lots of deep-sounding conversations that aren't so deep. Charlie's apple didn't fall far from the tree.
And how could we forget Trista's 30th birthday? Each guy brings a special gift, and Ryan scores beaucoup points for his drawing of a white tiger, Trista's favorite animal. Greg performs a "rap," if you can call it that. Not his shining moment. I hope she dropped him because of it.
RedEye, 1/24/03
'Idol' judges hit home runs
By William P. Bohlen
For nearly three hours over two days this week, watching "American Idol" was like watching batting practice--the snarky judges were tossed softballs, and they knocked them out of the park.
The producers marched some ghastly "singers" into the audition room, and judges Simon Cowell, Paula Abdul and Randy Jackson mocked them, criticized them, made them cry.
And for good reason too. Some were absolutely dreadful, yet most had some misguided belief that they could win the competition, much less advance to the next round.
My favorite moment with each performance came after a terrible performer stopped singing but before the judges tried to put words to their critique. The first reaction was often a "wow," which the singers took for a good "wow," and Paula, Simon or Randy had to explain that it was a bad one. That little lift to the heart was followed by a precipitous crash, and then by invective directed at the judges--especially Simon--for telling the cold truth.
This is what "American Idol" is all about. Or was, up until the poignant point on Wednesday's show when Nicole, a down-on-her-luck boxer from Detroit who didn't make the cut, broke down about how Detroit was a place one couldn't escape. She collected herself, took her young son and shattered dreams and left, vowing to keep fighting the good fight to find a better life. You go, girl.
Shows to watch
- Um, only the biggest television event of the year occurs on Sunday. The Super Bowl begins at 5 p.m. on ABC. Stay tuned after for a special "Alias" and the premiere of late night's new "Jimmy Kimmel Live."
-Before "Joe Millionaire" on Monday, check out the Fox special "Bridezillas" at 7 p.m. to see what happens when daddy's little princesses don't get their way on their special day.
RedEye, 1/17/03
Will the lie hurt this average Joe?
By William P. Bohlen
I can't decide what I think of Evan, the star of "Joe Millionaire," the twisted Fox take on the "Bachelor" formula. He makes $19,000 per year digging dirt, but the show's gold-digging women think he just inherited $50 million.
The chiseled construction work-er (and one-time skimpy underwear model) seems like a decent guy. He appreciates hard work; he cares about emotionally connecting with the women at his feet; he values the truth. Did he forget the gist of his show? Therein lies the dilemma of Evan, and the show.
Evan's goal is love, which is somewhat dependent on the truth, but it's all built on a lie.
This should make for perfect television, except it's not quite perfect.
Yet.
The show is going to plod along for a few more episodes until he gets down to the moment of truth, so to speak, and has to tell his newly beloved their potential new life begins with a charade. That moment is what we're waiting for, and I'll sit through countless fantasy dates (if I must!) to get to that moment.
Can we ease the transition by kicking off both Melissas next? Now that Heidi is gone, they are the most annoying of the five remaining women.
My hope is Evan will keep either Zora, who's got a little mystery to her, or Sarah, who seems like her purpose in life isn't riding on the outcome.
- Ben, the former nerd, and Dave, the old bully, face off in a boxing ring on "High School Reunion," at 8 p.m. Sunday on WGN.
- The return of "American Idol" is almost upon us, at 7 p.m. Tuesday on Fox. It won't have the juice of the first one, which was a true phenomenon. But it'll still be worth your time.
RedEye, 1/9/03
It's raining men
By William P. Bohlen
The first episode of "The Bachelorette" answered several big questions. Could a woman shatter a double-standard and be respected after dating 25 men? Could a show actually find 25 young men looking for marriage? And could ABC parlay its "Bachelor" formula into a year-round success?
Yes, yes and yes. If last night's episode is a guide, "The Bachelorette" has some juice despite not being as deliciously catty as its cousin.
The key is a whole range of guys, all of them toothy and camera-pleasing, with different types of sweet appeal or gag-inducing repugnance--from Chicago favorite Jamie, the smiley basketball player who caught "Bachelorette" Trista Rehn's eye, to Tiffany bracelet-bearing Russell, a tool who somehow charmed her. Trista said it wasn't the blue box that attracted her, but he showed no apparent redeeming qualities.
Women will like the show because it's empowering and because television, for once, presents guys to ogle. Men will like it because Trista's pretty attractive herself.
The reality television genre keeps reinventing itself, and it's staying fresh by getting a little more creative, a little more risky and, sometimes, a little crueler. With all of the premieres this week, one can choose from lied-to women, reunioning high schoolers and fading stars seeking a twisted fame.
But syrupy sweetest of the new shows is "The Bachelorette," part of a wholesome-yet-titillating subgenre that might last well beyond the fake millionaires and the former child actors. The goal, after all, is marriage.
It was refreshing, for once, to see a television show objectify men and put a woman in power.
Trista, a 29-year-old pediatric physical therapist and former Miami Heat dancer, who was the jilted finalist of the first edition of "The Bachelor," whittled down her group to 15 before the night was over. The perky blonde kept several studs, a few duds and a shy poetry-writing firefighter named Ryan. She cut Paul, the Hawaiian, who looked strikingly like her with his shoulder-length blond hair, and breast implant salesman Brian K. (she kept three other Brians).
But the boutonniere ceremony, the equivalent of the heartbreaking rose ceremony on "The Bachelor," wasn't satisfying. The guys didn't act nearly as devastated as the teary, vain women dismissed on either of "The Bachelor" seasons.
Instead of giving out flowers, "The Bachelorette" could turn that ceremony into an ego-crusher. Trista would serve as captain of the kickball team, pointing and picking the guys she wants. Or, better yet, she could throw dodge balls at the guys she didn't want. Just a little something to get tears flowing from someone other than Trista, who got emotional after handing out the last flower. She said she was worried that she was making someone sad. Well, yes, Trista, that's what you signed up for.
Which leads to the show's biggest problem: the "well, duh" moment. Duh, you're going to break someone's heart. Duh, you're going to make someone mad. Duh, it's going to be tough to choose.
The other major problem is the scripted moments like Trista's "contemplation scene" looking over the bachelors' pictures--usually accompanied by the "well, duh" voiceover about how they all mean so much to her. It's clearly staged, and you wonder how she can keep a straight face while the camera hovers around. How long does she have to pose, I wonder?
But, despite the soft lighting, the velvety cushions and the staging, Trista has said she's found Mr. Right, and she says she can't wait to tell the world after the show finishes. Let's hope it's not Russell.
RedEye, 1/3/03
Plenty of fresh shows for midseason
By William P. Bohlen
Hard to believe it's almost midseason time here in TV land. Seems like yesterday that Rob Lowe was still on "The West Wing," that we had dull Aaron winning girls' hearts--or at least fooling them--on "The Bachelor," and that Sharon Osbourne learned she had cancer.
January has plenty to look forward to, so here's a clip-and-save guide for this month in television.
Monday, 8 p.m.: Move over "Bachelor," here comes "Joe Millionaire," a "Bachelor" clone with a catch: Evan is a $19,000-a-year construction worker, but the fawning women think he's worth $50 million. "Who Wants to Marry a Multi-Millionaire" anybody?
Tuesday, 9 p.m.: Is this the best show I've never seen? "The Shield," starring upset Emmy-winner Michael Chiklis, is a cop drama with true grit. The second season premieres on FX.
Wednesday, 7 p.m.: CBS revives "Star Search," the show that launched a few dozen showbiz careers. Arsenio Hall fills Ed McMahon's old shoes in this live show. Glad to see Arsenio is getting work these days.
Wednesday, 8 p.m.: ABC's first-season "Bachelor" runner-up Trista Rehn, takes the "rehns" on her own looking-for-love series, "The Bachelorette."
Wednesday, 9 p.m.: I don't know who thought up this concept, but ABC's "Celebrity Mole Hawaii" sure sounds like a loser. Seven semi-celebrities--including Corbin Bernsen and Kathy Griffin!--play "The Mole," a stale ABC reality game with one person trying to sabotage the game's challenges.
Jan. 10, 7 p.m.: "Mister Sterling," the story of a fresh-faced senator starring Josh Brolin, premieres on NBC. Nobody cares.
Jan. 10, 9 p.m.: "Queens Supreme," the story of a bearded judge starring Oliver Platt, premieres on CBS. Nobody cares.
Jan. 21, 7 p.m.: Season two of Fox's summer hit "American Idol" premieres with a two-hour episode, followed the next night by a 90-minute one at 7:30. I don't know about you, but I can't get enough of Paula Abdul's lame jokes and awful timing!
RedEye, 12/20/02
Never-ending 'Story' a real holiday hoot
By William P. Bohlen
Can I tell you why TNT is the greatest television network for at least 24 hours each year?
Beginning Christmas Eve at 7 p.m., and finishing Christmas Day at 7 p.m., TNT will show a marathon of "A Christmas Story," the timeless holiday story of Ralphie Parker and his quest for a perfect Christmas, represented by a coveted Red Ryder BB Gun "with a compass in the stock and a thing that tells time."
After we open presents each year, my family grabs hot cocoa and blankets and curls up for a few showings. Even after watching it through once, you can't help but watch again. The 1950s-set movie, made in 1983, has appeal because it harks back to those innocent days of youth.
Ralphie's tale is a universal one: a doe-eyed desire for a specific Christmas toy--be it a BB gun or a Nintendo--coupled with the intrigue of growing up, whether it's using grown-up language ("the F-dash-dash-dash word"), having curiosity about the world (sticking a tongue to a freezing pole) or having more responsibility (being trusted not to shoot your eye out).
And then there are family elements that, although aspiring to be traditional, have a delightfully dysfunctional flavor. After turkey dinner is ruined, the family heads to the only open restaurant in town, a Chinese joint, where the waiters vainly attempt Christmas carols and the duck dish comes out with head still attached. But for all the minor holiday tragedies, you can tell there is love in the Parker household. That's the way it should be.
Show to Watch
- If you're opening presents in a dwelling with no fireplace, you're in luck. At 7 a.m. Christmas morning CLTV will play "Yule Log," a two-hour program consisting entirely of a fire burning with Christmas music in the background.
My suggestion: put it on mute, pull up a space heater and let the flame mesmerize you.
RedEye, 12/13/02
It's sink or swim for 'Survivor'
By William P. Bohlen
In an effort to attract the attention of CBS suits, I will couch this message in "Survivor's" well-worn cliches: It's time to vote the tired franchise off the island. Even though the tribe hasn't spoken--it still gets tremendous ratings and was the No. 4 show last week--I implore CBS to snuff out the show's torch.
I contend that "Survivor: Thailand's" viewers are holding on out of habit. The show, now in its fifth incarnation, has failed to hold my interest.
While I can still remember the early departures in the first season (Sonja, B.B.), I can't recall who was voted out last week. The first season had strong personalities like Richard, Rudy, Kelly and Susan in a devious, deliciously exciting alliance.
All this season has offered are the Ted Ghandia grinding episode and former porn star Brian's cocky, er, confident assertions that he will win the $1 million.
"Survivor" isn't what it used to be.
Way back in 2000, I couldn't get enough of the intrigue, politicking and back-stabbing. When they signed up, the first 16 castaways didn't know what they were getting themselves into.
Host Jeff Probst was still feeling his way about the show, and you had the impression he was challenged too.
Because they had watched previous seasons, all of the "Survivor: Thailand" contestants knew how to play the game. The game's survival aspects were only of surface importance as the players got right down to forming alliances.
The producers are running out of ideas for mixing things up. After last night's dismissal of Ted, look for Jan to win in next week's three-hour special. Three hours? Sheesh.
Shows to watch
- Feeling nostalgic? "Rudolph the Red- Nosed Reindeer" is on CBS at 7 p.m. Friday. Skip "Robbie the Reindeer" at 8 p.m., unless you want to hear Britney Spears voice a character.
- Must be equal time for Democrats. After John McCain hosted earlier, Al Gore is this week's "Saturday Night Live" host.
RedEye, 12/6/02
Don't miss 'Amazing Race'
By William P. Bohlen
If you get a thrill running to catch a plane, a bus or even the L, then I hope you caught Wednesday's two-hour episode of "The Amazing Race" on CBS, the best reality show on television.
"The Amazing Race" is a test of skill, luck and strategy, relying less on alliances and more on wits to negotiate foreign cities, airports and languages. Teams of two travel on a worldwide scavenger hunt, hoping to avoid being last to check in at each leg's pit stop. Finish last and face elimination from host Phil Keoghan, who, with an arched eyebrow or wry smile, doles out emotion in satisfyingly rare morsels.
Because the pairs are friends, lovers or relatives, it makes for a fascinating study in relationships. Look at Gerard and Ken, two opposite brothers--straight/gay, married/single, Republican/Democrat--who have a great time together. Or Teri and Ian, 50-ish married parents who verbally abuse one another. Take last week's exchange while they ran in the Swiss Alps--Teri: "My pants are falling down." Ian: "This is more important than your pants falling."
Time is crucial, so each episode is an adrenaline rush, start to finish.
Unfortunately, amicable Staten Island couple John Vito and Jill got lost in Singapore in Wednesday's episode, finishing last for the leg. With four teams and two episodes left, let's hope ugly Americans Teri and Ian drop out before Ken and Gerard, my pick, claim the $1 million prize.
Shows to watch
- Andy Richter Controls the Universe, a funny show in need of an audience, is back on Fox at 8:30 Sundays, this time behind great lead-in Malcolm in the Middle.
- Selma Blair guests as Chandler's attractive Tulsa co-worker on Friends Thursday, and Monica gets worried when he has to spend Christmas in Oklahoma.
Red Eye, 11/29/02
'Osbournes' jump the shark
By William P. Bohlen
Was it when Kelly got onstage to perform at the MTV Movie Awards? Nope. Was it when Jack sprayed the gawkers outside their mansion? Nope.
"The Osbournes" officially became passe minutes into the second season debut Nov. 26, as Ozzy was getting ready to see President Bush at the White House Correspondents' Association Dinner.
That "compassionate conservative" Bush would acknowledge bat-biter Ozzy Osbourne quashed whatever subversiveness remained in the dysfunctionally functional family show. Bush's previous awkward attempts at pop culture relevance, via Saturday Night Live and David Letterman, showed that Bush is the Last Man to Get It. Now that Bush gets "The Osbournes," it's the surest sign of the show's decline. Overexposure has turned another cult hit into a phenomenon, effectively ruining it in the process.
But it's more than that. Because the show depends on what happens in real life, the Osbournes' newfound fame has made the show less authentic. Instead of being about semi-famous people living life, this season will show famous people being famous. We already have that with Us Weekly and "The E! True Hollywood Story."
Fame has clearly gone to the heads of Kelly and Sharon. (Not even blood goes to Ozzy's head.) Kelly has a music career and Sharon is planning a talk show. Jack is probably the most "real" person there. He likes to play video games and pull pranks, and his pursuit of Natalie Portman at the MTV awards was delightfully id-driven. Of course, Jack had to guest on "Dawson's Creek"... .
It's sad to say, but Sharon's colon cancer could be the dose of reality the show needs to stay interesting.
Show's to watch:
- Which made-for-TV movie to choose? "It's a Very Merry Muppet Christmas Movie" airs on NBC at 7 p.m. Friday. "The Brady Bunch in the White House" competes on Fox the same time. I'm leaning Muppets.
- Steven Spielberg's alien-abduction miniseries "Taken" premieres at 8 p.m. Monday on Sci Fi. Maybe they'll take Ozzy back.
RedEye, 11/22/02
'Bachelor' finale worth waiting for
By William P. Bohlen
Argh. After almost two hours of cringing and forehead-slapping at the inanity and insanity of "The Bachelor," I found myself actually enthralled in the show's final minutes. Seriously will-he-propose-and-will-she-accept engrossed. Did my heart just skip a beat?
Aaron proposed. Helene accepted. They pledged their love. Damn Aaron. Damn Helene. Damn "Bachelor" editors.
The first 90 minutes had been so vomit-worthy. Runner-up Brooke, 22, talking about getting her "game face" on. Brooke, an Alabama senior, telling Aaron's parents, "I have two classes left to take. I'll be taking golf and volleyball." Aaron's grandma asking Brooke about her tattoo, "Does it show in a bikini? Then Aaron has seen it?" Helene's proclivity for talking while she and Aaron make out.
But then the sweet, honest moments started shining through the crap. Aaron, 28, paid for the ring on his own. He let Brooke down gently. Brooke put on her brave face and said nice things. In the limo, though, we watched her break down.
And finally, we arrived at the moment. Helene, 27, in a retro dress and a flower in her hair, walked the petal-strewn path. Aaron, on bended knee, asked, "So Helene, will you marry me?" The smiling answer: "Yes I will. Without a doubt."
They kissed. A little too much tongue. But she finally kissed him without talking.
Shows to watch
- "The Osbournes" begins its second season on MTV Tuesday at 9:30. Sharon's cancer will make for numerous "This week, on a very special 'Osbournes'" episodes.
- Eric is considering proposing to Donna on "That '70s Show," 7 p.m. Tuesday on Fox. They may be young, but at least they have known each other longer than Aaron and Helene.
RedEye, 11/15/02
Enough with 'The Bachelor'
By William P. Bohlen
Instead of just ending the danged thing, the folks over at ABC put together a show of jilted bachelorettes this week and made us wait another week for Aaron "The Bachelor" to finally break one woman's heart.
This week's teary, catty show featured the 23 "losers" dishing about Aaron, the bland piece of meat they drooled over.
And, as we saw in some well-edited clips, a lot of these women fell for him remarkably quickly. Christi: "I love Aaron." Heather: "Most definitely I see Aaron as my husband."
I don't get the attraction. He doesn't open up easily and has no discernable personality traits, but he still gets his pick of 25 beautiful women to fool around with. They want to pour their hearts out; he wants to get them into hot tubs.
Aaron--surprise!--came out to face the bachelorettes' questions but, typically, didn't reveal much. He barely explained why he kicked off likeable Gwen, the most recent to go. Something about her not letting him know her feelings? He's one to talk.
Finally, we'll see the last rose ceremony Wednesday. Will he propose?
My prediction: he'll propose to Helene, the 27-year-old psychologist. She's a bit smarter and a bit more grown up than Brooke, 22, the student from Alabama.
Shows to watch:
- Here's your chance to get hooked on a great show. CBS is moving Wednesday's "Amazing Race" to an hour earlier (7 p.m.) so they can throw the Victoria's Secret fashion show at "The Bachelor" finale. The ratings for the 8 p.m. slot will be determined by what gender controls the remote.
- "The Sopranos" has Tony seeing his shrink, Dr. Melfi, again this week. Maybe he'll confess about Ralphie's brutal rubout. More chance in that than in Tony telling Uncle Junior, don't you think?
RedEye, 11/8/02
TV leader gets viewers' vote
By William P. Bohlen
Sure, Democrats lost control of the Senate on Tuesday and face two years of one-party rule, but they took solace in Wednesday's election, which saw President Jed Bartlet win another term.
The most compelling political TV of the election week came on "The West Wing": Bartlet showed signs of multiple sclerosis, Sam Seaborn might leave the White House for Congress, and dour Toby Ziegler turned soft watching his twins' sonogram.
Aaron Sorkin's baby beat the hell out of real-life election coverage, which had network anchors throat-clearing about the dangers of projecting winners too early, lest they prematurely call Florida again.
Comedy Central's "The Daily Show" had the best election-night coverage. Host Jon Stewart deftly handled Arizona senator and recent "Saturday Night Live" host John McCain. It's creepy how badly McCain wants to be on comedy television. Is a guest spot on "Good Morning Miami" next?
Shows to watch:
- Nia Vardalos, the heroine from the film "My Big Fat Greek Wedding," hosts "SNL."
- Despite last week's Halloween special, "The Simpsons" official season premiere is at 7 p.m. Sunday on Fox, when Mick Jagger teaches Homer to be a rock star.
- There'll be drama in Stars Hollow on Tuesday as vapid Dean angrily confronts Rory about rebel Jess on "The Gilmore Girls." The confrontation is set, naturally, against the wholesome backdrop of a dance marathon.
